Government

2. martial law has been declared and the populace is kept under tight control

3. protesters against the government are hanged as a warning to others

3. @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ are free from pain - but the side effects include loss of individual thought and freedom

Sometimes gained from:

3. elections have been outlawed

3. a dictator has seized power and outlawed elections

#61 Should the Government Grant Estates and Titles of Nobility?

3. elections are outlawed and a hairstylist has recently received a government appointment

1. society and government have been organized according to a feudal hierarchy

1. councils up and down the country wrangle over legal matters

3. the nation's leader appoints ministers directly

1. politicians are often seen with soldiers pointing guns at their heads

4. citizens are more concerned about voting for Big Brother contestants than politicians

3. the government has repealed elections for fear of 'mob rule'

5. @@LEADER@@ is the self-declared God of all @@NAME@@

4. pollsters are out of a job as elections have been cancelled

5. the only things @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ vote on are cutest @@ANIMAL@@ competitions

3. tyranny by any other name smells just as sour

#1082 It's Hard to Separate the Truth From Entertainment

1. propaganda posters remind citizens that 'opinions are treason'

3. the country is governed by a clique of political insiders known colloquially as The Establishment

4. government doublethinkers have declared that voting is slavery

4. the government terminates employment with extreme prejudice

3. the government has ended partisanship by ending elections

4. the only legal elections are for student body president

4. the media only bothers polling the three most exclusive country clubs in the nation

Removed by:

1. @@NAME@@'s first free elections in recent memory have been successfully concluded

1. elections have recently been reintroduced to @@NAME@@

1. workers have seized control of the economy

3. corrupt Party bureaucrats are being voted out of office in overwhelming numbers

4. widespread voter apathy has been credited to allegations that all candidates are puppets of @@LEADER@@

4. some members of Parliament are illiterate

#502 Scientists Declare That @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ Are Persons

3. the monarch's main official duty is christening ships

7. @@NAME@@ has taken the radical step of electing its future leaders

3. the new @@ANIMAL@@ Supremacy Party is faring well in the polls

4. the new @@ANIMAL@@ Supremacy Party is faring well in the polls

3. the nation's latest batch of politicians include internet comedians, an alleged serial killer, and a highly trained @@ANIMAL@@

1. the decision to be oppressed is now made democratically

#11 People Request Not So Much Dictatorship, if That's All Right

5. farmers trade ploughshares for swords when military sortition puts them in charge of regiments

Sometimes removed by:

2. the government is cutting back on the number of political prisoners executed each year

Devolution

Government power is substantially delegated to local authorities.

Gained from:

#11 People Request Not So Much Dictatorship, if That's All Right

1. workers have seized control of the economy

Sometimes gained from:

2. the government is cutting back on the number of political prisoners executed each year

#61 Should the Government Grant Estates and Titles of Nobility?

1. society and government have been organized according to a feudal hierarchy

3. citizens are remarkably well involved in the political process

1. councils up and down the country wrangle over legal matters

1. @@NAME@@'s first free elections in recent memory have been successfully concluded

1. elections have recently been reintroduced to @@NAME@@

3. corrupt Party bureaucrats are being voted out of office in overwhelming numbers

4. widespread voter apathy has been credited to allegations that all candidates are puppets of @@LEADER@@

#414 Subpar Suburbs

1. town welcome signs list corporate sponsors

3. the monarch's main official duty is christening ships

7. @@NAME@@ has taken the radical step of electing its future leaders

#466 @@NAME@@ Is Never Ever Getting Back Together... Like Ever

1. a TV celebrity dominates the nation's newest democratic political party

3. the government is allowing greater autonomy for some regions in the hopes of quelling growing secessionist movements

#497 The Widening Gyre

1. the once prosperous capital is in utter decline

3. city-dwellers are forcibly moved to farming communes in the countryside

#502 Scientists Declare That @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ Are Persons

3. the new @@ANIMAL@@ Supremacy Party is faring well in the polls

4. the new @@ANIMAL@@ Supremacy Party is faring well in the polls

1. rural citizens live in terror of their local village constable

3. party affiliation is just as irrelevant as campaign promises

#1209 Your Island Is My Island

1. the decision to be oppressed is now made democratically

3. the freedom to be free is always just out of reach

#1315 No Boycott After All; Parliament Just Got Lost

1. drawing straws has given way to straw polls

3. governance is once again the domain of the elite

Removed by:

3. a dictator has seized power and outlawed elections

3. elections are outlawed and a hairstylist has recently received a government appointment

2. martial law has been declared and the populace is kept under tight control

3. protesters against the government are hanged as a warning to others

3. the nation's leader appoints ministers directly

1. politicians are often seen with soldiers pointing guns at their heads

4. citizens are more concerned about voting for Big Brother contestants than politicians

3. the government has repealed elections for fear of 'mob rule'

5. @@LEADER@@ is the self-declared God of all @@NAME@@

#345 Mayors Behaving Badly

4. pollsters are out of a job as elections have been cancelled

1. hordes of faceless civil servants are running cities

4. some members of Parliament are illiterate

3. the nation's latest batch of politicians include internet comedians, an alleged serial killer, and a highly trained @@ANIMAL@@

5. the only things @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ vote on are cutest @@ANIMAL@@ competitions

3. @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ are free from pain - but the side effects include loss of individual thought and freedom

3. tyranny by any other name smells just as sour

1. propaganda posters remind citizens that 'opinions are treason'

#1082 It's Hard to Separate the Truth From Entertainment

5. a twice-bankrupted businessman's promotion to Minister of Finance has caused concern

3. the country is governed by a clique of political insiders known colloquially as The Establishment

4. government doublethinkers have declared that voting is slavery

4. the government terminates employment with extreme prejudice

3. the government has ended partisanship by ending elections

5. farmers trade ploughshares for swords when military sortition puts them in charge of regiments

4. the only legal elections are for student body president

#1510 Devolution Devolves Into Disaster?

4. the media only bothers polling the three most exclusive country clubs in the nation

3. city mayors have to get permission from parliament to take a vacation day

Sometimes removed by:

#61 Should the Government Grant Estates and Titles of Nobility?

3. elections have been outlawed

Feudalism

The nation practices a feudal system of lords and serfs.

Gained from:

1. society and government have been organized according to a feudal hierarchy

#1232 I've Got 99 Problems but @@FAITH@@ Ain't One

5. noble feuds don't end until one side gets their point across

2. people feel the most alone when among peers

3. people feel the most alone when among peers

Removed by:

#605 The Noblest of Intentions

1. former nobles are being issued new identities in the wake of the end of serfdom

#710 Feudal Feuds

4. freed serfs and former nobles exchange awkward glances in the produce aisle

#894 Seigneurs Demand Rights

3. embittered former nobles desperately try to cling on to their noblesse oblige and their heads

#940 The Court of the Crimson Lord

5. merriment is might when jesters come calling with puppets in the night

#1144 A Noble Cause for a Fight

4. the people sing of those who will not be slaves again

4. jackboots have given the boot to the nobility

Monarchy

The special status of a royal family is enshrined in law.

Gained from:

#1157 Rodney and Julietta

2. some @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ have nicknamed the monarch "Caligula"

3. the monarch's main official duty is christening ships

5. legitimate job descriptions now include "smiling and waving"

Removed by:

#527 The Body Politic

2. royalist is the most offensive slur in the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ language

3. royalist is the most offensive slur in the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ language

4. royalist is the most offensive slur in the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ language

#596 Primogeniture Problems

7. royalty is so last century

8. royalty is so last century

#1033 Someone to Watch Over Me

4. former royals stand on the street corner with signs reading "will cut ribbons for money"

#1084 How Now Kowtow?

4. ex-royals are being greeted by a whole new set of gestures

#1205 Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow

5. coconut-half banging former royals skip around the countryside seeking gullible peasants to rule

#1223 Courting Bankruptcy

4. the monarchy goes down the drain with a royal flush

5. the monarchy goes down the drain with a royal flush

Native Representation

Only native-born citizens may hold elected office.

Gained from:

Sometimes gained from:

#11 People Request Not So Much Dictatorship, if That's All Right

2. the government is cutting back on the number of political prisoners executed each year

1. @@NAME@@'s first free elections in recent memory have been successfully concluded

1. elections have recently been reintroduced to @@NAME@@

1. workers have seized control of the economy

#427 They Took Our Gubment!

3. corrupt Party bureaucrats are being voted out of office in overwhelming numbers

4. widespread voter apathy has been credited to allegations that all candidates are puppets of @@LEADER@@

1. candidates for public office painstakingly research their family trees to ensure their eligibility

2. the majority of @@NAME@@'s traffic wardens have been sacked overnight

3. the monarch's main official duty is christening ships

7. @@NAME@@ has taken the radical step of electing its future leaders

#502 Scientists Declare That @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ Are Persons

1. a TV celebrity dominates the nation's newest democratic political party

3. the new @@ANIMAL@@ Supremacy Party is faring well in the polls

4. the new @@ANIMAL@@ Supremacy Party is faring well in the polls

#1000 Should Democracy Be Compulsory?

1. the decision to be oppressed is now made democratically

4. only native-born @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ who have never left the nation are permitted to run for office

#1315 No Boycott After All; Parliament Just Got Lost

1. drawing straws has given way to straw polls

3. governance is once again the domain of the elite

Removed by:

3. elections have been outlawed

3. a dictator has seized power and outlawed elections

3. elections are outlawed and a hairstylist has recently received a government appointment

2. martial law has been declared and the populace is kept under tight control

3. protesters against the government are hanged as a warning to others

3. the nation's leader appoints ministers directly

1. politicians are often seen with soldiers pointing guns at their heads

4. citizens are more concerned about voting for Big Brother contestants than politicians

3. the government has repealed elections for fear of 'mob rule'

5. @@LEADER@@ is the self-declared God of all @@NAME@@

4. pollsters are out of a job as elections have been cancelled

#427 They Took Our Gubment!

4. some members of Parliament are illiterate

3. the Smalltopian embassy doubles as an electoral campaign headquarters

3. the nation's latest batch of politicians include internet comedians, an alleged serial killer, and a highly trained @@ANIMAL@@

5. the only things @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ vote on are cutest @@ANIMAL@@ competitions

3. @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ are free from pain - but the side effects include loss of individual thought and freedom

3. tyranny by any other name smells just as sour

1. propaganda posters remind citizens that 'opinions are treason'

#1082 It's Hard to Separate the Truth From Entertainment

5. a twice-bankrupted businessman's promotion to Minister of Finance has caused concern

3. the country is governed by a clique of political insiders known colloquially as The Establishment

4. government doublethinkers have declared that voting is slavery

4. the government terminates employment with extreme prejudice

3. the government has ended partisanship by ending elections

5. farmers trade ploughshares for swords when military sortition puts them in charge of regiments

4. the only legal elections are for student body president

4. the media only bothers polling the three most exclusive country clubs in the nation

No Dissent

Public protests are illegal.

Gained from:

2. suppression of pro-democracy protests is a daily occurrence

1. pro-democracy protesters are shot on sight by state police

5. chemically brainwashed citizens praise @@LEADER@@'s name on an hourly basis

3. @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ are free from pain - but the side effects include loss of individual thought and freedom

Sometimes gained from:

2. bicyclists are banned from major roads

1. Animal Liberationists are regularly arrested

1. the death penalty has been reintroduced

2. the military has had to quell a recent insurrection by uninsured revolutionaries

5. the military has had to quell a recent insurrection by uninsured revolutionaries

#73 @@NAME@@ - Without Cars, Going Nowhere Fast

3. citizens are remarkably well involved in the political process

4. anti-environmentalist dissidents must beware of government plants in their midst

#76 Suits in Protest

3. protests are prohibited from blocking traffic

1. gun ownership is compulsory

3. protesters against the government are hanged as a warning to others

1. the government is a clear-cut case of tyranny by majority

#138 Keep the Greenbelt Green, Say Protesters

1. the arms industry is backed by government subsidies and harsh anti-protest laws are in place

2. the arms industry has been shut down in a surge of pacifism

3. the arms industry is strictly regulated

3. environmental protestors are being rounded up and taken away in sinister black vans as a massive land development campaign gets underway

4. environmental protestors are being rounded up and taken away in sinister black vans as a massive land development campaign gets underway

#141 Police Too Pushy?

2. citizens are regularly arrested in queues for 'loitering'

2. the words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence

2. the government is cracking down on subversive groups

2. popular political cartoonists are thrown in jail for inciting dissent

3. political cartoonists are known for their distinctive odour

4. cheese has been labelled a dangerous weapon and banned

1. rumours have it that a secret police is responsible for the recent spate of missing persons

3. the police force is rumoured to be made up of evil shadows with no souls

#234 Corruption in the Lobby

1. the government has outlawed extremist parties

#232 Suffragette City

4. women are often jailed for failing to fetch their husbands' slippers

5. women are often jailed for failing to fetch their husbands' slippers

3. petitions to the government are being used to insulate politicians' office walls

#254 Freedom Comes at a Price

1. it is illegal to liberate slaves

#257 @@LEADER@@ Assassinated... Almost

2. citizens have an obligation to remain silent and anything they say may be used against them

#281 Free Internet for @@NAME@@?

3. the government encourages conflict abroad to increase arms sales

#277 Say Cheese!

3. the secret service is working overtime to find anyone publishing unauthorized material about @@LEADER@@

1. the internet has been placed under government control

#299 Some Like It Hot; Others Don't

4. the state has declared war on the environment and environmentalists by association

#309 Guerrilla Grandparents

2. fortified nursing homes are wracked with daily skirmishes

#313 Conscientious Objectors Want You... To Let Them Abstain

1. a recent political debate came to a quick close once the ruling party decreed it was "just plain silly"

1. military recruitment numbers are down as citizens object on 'moral grounds'

2. conscientious objectors are hanged as traitors

3. priests are being drafted by the church load

4. priests are being drafted by the church load

#332 Summit Security Spending Stirs Strife

1. families consisting of more than three people are forced to split up

2. criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat

1. @@CAPITAL@@ is a police state during international summits

#345 Mayors Behaving Badly

1. hordes of faceless civil servants are running cities

#390 [An International Incident] An Unstable Situation

1. the nation's armed forces are recruiting thousands to help colonise Brasilistan

#416 Prophet Margins

4. oracles predict landslide victories for @@LEADER@@ for the next 50 years

#449 A Big Fracking Problem

1. pollution is on the rise along with government approvals of fracking projects

2. pollution is on the rise along with government approvals of fracking projects

#458 Bigtopian Lives Matter

3. officer recruitment and police brutality have reached an all-time high

#460 Salt of the Earth

3. the nation's solution to the ongoing famine is to lock up anyone who mentions the famine

4. the nation's solution to the ongoing famine is to lock up anyone who mentions the famine

#466 @@NAME@@ Is Never Ever Getting Back Together... Like Ever

1. the military patrols the streets in search of possible secessionists

#475 Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

2. penal labor is a de facto death sentence

3. firing squads regularly execute dissidents

#480 One Nation's Trash Is Another Nation's Trash

3. barges of dissidents are being "reeducated through water therapy" in the South @@ANIMAL@@ Sea

2. labour strikes are routinely squashed by police

1. @@CAPITAL@@'s main city thoroughfare has been blocked by a row of leyland cypresses that mysteriously appeared overnight

2. possession of tomato seeds with intent to garden is a criminal offence

3. possession of tomato seeds with intent to garden is a criminal offence

#537 Summary Injustice

2. the legal profession considers itself above the law

1. legislators toe the party line lest the Sergeant-at-Arms decide to conduct "truncheon practice" on the backbench

5. opposition party MPs campaign shirtless to show off their numerous lash scars

#543 Flash, Aaaaaargh!

4. oddly patriotic flash mobs spontaneously sing the national anthem

#554 Welcome to --CENSORED--

1. weird or unusual crimes merit cruel and unusual punishments

2. weird or unusual crimes merit cruel and unusual punishments

3. tourists visit @@NAME@@ to mass-moon @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ politicians

4. the bum of @@LEADER@@ has been voted the most recognisable in @@NAME@@

1. a proud mining community is considering a rebellion after the Capital officially renamed them 'District XII'

#583 Don't Be a Busk-Kill

5. contestants on @@NAME@@'s Got Talent are screened by the government to make sure that they actually have talent

#684 Murder Most Deniable?

1. nothing gets the party jumping like @@LEADER@@ specifying how high

3. the Foreign Ministry thinks an eye for an eye is a blindingly good idea

#690 Hey! @@LEADER@@! Leave Them Kids Alone!

2. citizens who don't recite the Pledge of @@NAME@@ at least three times a day are placed on a terrorist watch-list

3. citizens who don't recite the Pledge of @@NAME@@ at least three times a day are placed on a terrorist watch-list

2. statue-sitting has replaced the stake-out as the dullest form of police duty

3. a sledgehammer and a spray can are seen as the default tools of political debate

4. racial supremacists have a burning desire to deal with immigrants

#725 Sky's the Limit?

2. the derisively named "Morlocks of Moria" futilely demand time in the sun

4. traffic tickets are punishable by 9000 push-ups

1. citizens are encouraged to show displeasure with politicians by poking them with sharp metal sticks

2. citizens are encouraged to show displeasure with politicians by poking them with sharp metal sticks

6. the legal system for the political class is completely separate from the one for normal citizens

#794 [@@CAPITAL@@gate] Fear and Loathing in @@CAPITAL@@

3. those on @@LEADER@@'s rumored 'Enemies List' tend to disappear overnight

2. citizens who inform on their neighbors can trade government "loyalty points" for food and other prizes

#795 [@@CAPITAL@@gate] Lock Him Up!

2. dissidents' perp walks are repeatedly shown during prime time television

2. citizens are required by law to prominently display a portrait of @@LEADER@@ in their homes

2. the police turn a blind eye to desecration if it's done in the name of religion or protest

#833 Twitching Up a Storm

2. creating cardboard imitations of missiles is a new top-secret military project

4. internet flame wars have been known to cause real-world casualties

1. liberals and conservatives try to disqualify each other's candidates on the grounds that "their ideas would never work in the real world"

1. 13-year-old internet trolls are treated as a threat on par with terrorists

2. internet moderator is one of the most popular jobs among the nation's more socially awkward citizens

3. internet moderator is one of the most popular jobs among the nation's more socially awkward citizens

4. a death threat has replaced 'hello' as an official greeting in the nation

1. ministers are now allowed to put suggestions in the governmental suggestion box

2. the practice of capital punishment proves divisive

#930 Flag It Down?

2. maritime signalling has become tedious since only the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ flag can be displayed

#958 Pay No Attention to That Donor Behind the Curtain!

6. solid-gold toilets are @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ prisons' least expensive furnishings

5. leakers release information by etching graffiti on bathroom stalls

#998 Without Fear or Favour

1. internet moderators work overtime to remove memes comparing @@LEADER@@ to cartoon bears

2. the nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments

3. screenwriters and actors seem to be in short supply these days

#1001 Will the Real Victims Please Stand Up?

3. investigative journalism into politicians' misbehaviour has abruptly ended

#1053 Some Enchanted Evening That Was

1. you can say what you like about the genocidal murderers that rule @@NAME@@ but at least the trains run on time

#1031 Down in the Groove

3. punk rockers smash it up and then clean it up

#1039 You've Got Mail

4. everyone apparently sends @@LEADER@@ hair-filled lockets, offers to die heroically, and poetic desires to co-parent a child

4. there is no such thing as an innocent fling in the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ military

1. military officers are given medals for disobeying orders

#1089 Woman Trouble

1. both injustice and force-feeding are sticking in the craw of hunger-striking suffragettes

2. women are reassured that they're being oppressed for their own good

2. the Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers

3. you gots to be part of the Party to get in to the party

#1167 Another Brick in the Wall

2. it is written that heretics die and @@LEADER@@ laughs

#1126 Waste of Time

2. government statistics suggest 115% of the population love @@LEADER@@

1. the sun rises an hour later on border communities

1. engineers ask liberal arts majors "Do you want fries with that?"

1. burning yourself alive is not okay but starving and whipping yourself is fine

2. burning yourself alive is not okay but starving and whipping yourself is fine

#1207 Next, Please!

3. mandatory patriotic themes make even the newest movies feel like remakes

#1261 Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

5. the government prevents violence by committing genocide

#1233 Get Real!

4. it's best to say "yes" if the arbiter asks "what are you, a moron?"

3. the government prides itself on being smug and condescending to idiots

3. serial killers share cells with serial jaywalkers

4. serial killers share cells with serial jaywalkers

Removed by:

1. the death penalty has been reintroduced

3. citizens are remarkably well involved in the political process

1. gun ownership is compulsory

1. crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters

2. firebombing politicians' offices has become a common way of expressing dissatisfaction

3. the streets are plagued with knife-wielding madmen

2. legislation sometimes has to battle through weeks of filibustering to pass

3. the government is forced to pander to the will of every fruitcake politician

#153 Protesters Have Gone Too Far, Claim Police

2. the arms industry has been shut down in a surge of pacifism

3. the arms industry is strictly regulated

3. protests are legal but strictly supervised

1. cheese has become the new icon of political dissent

#222 Terrorists Strike City Centre

2. anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper

6. the streets are ravaged by murder and violence to prove political points

2. most governmental positions are filled by zealous nationalists

#313 Conscientious Objectors Want You... To Let Them Abstain

4. a determined opposition debates the relative benefits of Arial and Times New Roman for days on end

1. military recruitment numbers are down as citizens object on 'moral grounds'

2. criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat

#475 Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

1. workers have seized control of the economy

#404 404 Issue Not Found

1. politicians accost strangers in the street to ask their problems

4. protest songs are the nation's de facto anthems

1. @@CAPITAL@@'s main city thoroughfare has been blocked by a row of leyland cypresses that mysteriously appeared overnight

3. tourists visit @@NAME@@ to mass-moon @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ politicians

4. the bum of @@LEADER@@ has been voted the most recognisable in @@NAME@@

3. cub scouts are being asked to hand in their woggles as the state withdraws funding for scouting

#678 A Motion for Seconds

2. politicians tend to jump ship to whichever party is currently leading in the polls

2. @@LEADER@@'s handshakes with opposition leaders usually lead to thumb wars

3. a sledgehammer and a spray can are seen as the default tools of political debate

#773 Know Thy Selfie

3. @@LEADER@@ makes and breaks shaky peace deals in 140 characters or less

#789 [@@CAPITAL@@gate] @@CAPITAL@@gate

1. citizens are encouraged to show displeasure with politicians by poking them with sharp metal sticks

2. citizens are encouraged to show displeasure with politicians by poking them with sharp metal sticks

3. @@LEADER@@ is frequently seen begging critics to stop insulting the government

1. @@LEADER@@ claims no responsibility for what @@LEADER@@'s government does

1. schoolchildren are taught to boo and hiss at @@LEADER@@'s name

4. political cartoons depicting @@LEADER@@'s face on @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@'s buttocks are selling like hotcakes

2. the police turn a blind eye to desecration if it's done in the name of religion or protest

9. government ministers sport new billboards that read 'Will Trade Votes for Private Members' Bill Support'

2. the best way to be heard in politics is to speak softly and carry a big comedy prop

4. a death threat has replaced 'hello' as an official greeting in the nation

1. ministers are now allowed to put suggestions in the governmental suggestion box

6. solid-gold toilets are @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ prisons' least expensive furnishings

2. the nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments

1. military officers are given medals for disobeying orders

#1089 Woman Trouble

5. parents tell their little girls that violence is sometimes the answer

2. the Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers

#1126 Waste of Time

1. nobody ever questions the unquestioned rule that questions must always be asked

1. engineers ask liberal arts majors "Do you want fries with that?"

#1261 Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

1. burning yourself alive is not okay but starving and whipping yourself is fine

2. burning yourself alive is not okay but starving and whipping yourself is fine

3. the government prides itself on being smug and condescending to idiots

#1489 No Tern Left Unstoned

3. the people have taken "Hail @@LEADER@@" as an invitation to lob rocks

#484 Patriot or Patri-Not?

2. new laws are ignored if they don't have a tabloid-style headline

3. media bosses are discovering the cost of being free

Pledge of Allegiance

The daily singing of an anthem or reciting of a pledge is compulsory in schools.

Gained from:

1. school children are forced to sing the national anthem every morning

2. school children are forced to sing the national anthem every morning

3. citizens who don't attend the nation's massive military parades tend to disappear overnight

#484 Patriot or Patri-Not?

1. squeaky high prepubescent voices recite the patriotic poem "Hail to The Leader!" before each meal

#959 A-Major Debate

5. students who do not recite the national anthem each morning have to drop and give their teacher 50

Removed by:

5. the nation is so apathetic that @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ can barely find the energy to bring new issues to the government

#690 Hey! @@LEADER@@! Leave Them Kids Alone!

1. the nation's children are known for being even more apathetic and cynical than their parents

Proportional Representation

Votes translate linearly to elected representation, with no seats or electoral college.

Gained from:

#1520 @@LEADER@@'s Big Unicameral Bash

2. you can please all of the people some of the time if you don't mind getting nothing done most of the time

Sometimes gained from:

#11 People Request Not So Much Dictatorship, if That's All Right

2. the government is cutting back on the number of political prisoners executed each year

#120 Two Parties for Too Long?

2. the @@NAME@@ Mental Asylum Party have recently won seats in parliament

1. @@NAME@@'s first free elections in recent memory have been successfully concluded

1. elections have recently been reintroduced to @@NAME@@

1. workers have seized control of the economy

3. corrupt Party bureaucrats are being voted out of office in overwhelming numbers

4. widespread voter apathy has been credited to allegations that all candidates are puppets of @@LEADER@@

3. coalition governments are essential to passing new laws

3. the monarch's main official duty is christening ships

7. @@NAME@@ has taken the radical step of electing its future leaders

#502 Scientists Declare That @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ Are Persons

1. a TV celebrity dominates the nation's newest democratic political party

3. the new @@ANIMAL@@ Supremacy Party is faring well in the polls

4. the new @@ANIMAL@@ Supremacy Party is faring well in the polls

#524 Something Is Rotten in the State of @@NAME@@

2. the new coalition government has 99 problems and can't agree on how to fix one

#1315 No Boycott After All; Parliament Just Got Lost

1. the decision to be oppressed is now made democratically

1. drawing straws has given way to straw polls

3. governance is once again the domain of the elite

Removed by:

3. elections have been outlawed

3. a dictator has seized power and outlawed elections

3. elections are outlawed and a hairstylist has recently received a government appointment

2. martial law has been declared and the populace is kept under tight control

3. protesters against the government are hanged as a warning to others

3. the nation's leader appoints ministers directly

1. politicians are often seen with soldiers pointing guns at their heads

4. citizens are more concerned about voting for Big Brother contestants than politicians

3. the government has repealed elections for fear of 'mob rule'

5. @@LEADER@@ is the self-declared God of all @@NAME@@

4. pollsters are out of a job as elections have been cancelled

4. some members of Parliament are illiterate

3. the nation's latest batch of politicians include internet comedians, an alleged serial killer, and a highly trained @@ANIMAL@@

5. the only things @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ vote on are cutest @@ANIMAL@@ competitions

3. @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ are free from pain - but the side effects include loss of individual thought and freedom

3. tyranny by any other name smells just as sour

1. propaganda posters remind citizens that 'opinions are treason'

5. a twice-bankrupted businessman's promotion to Minister of Finance has caused concern

#1082 It's Hard to Separate the Truth From Entertainment

8. the government has declared that too much democracy gets in the way of sensible leadership

3. the country is governed by a clique of political insiders known colloquially as The Establishment

4. government doublethinkers have declared that voting is slavery

4. the government terminates employment with extreme prejudice

3. the government has ended partisanship by ending elections

5. farmers trade ploughshares for swords when military sortition puts them in charge of regiments

4. the only legal elections are for student body president

4. the media only bothers polling the three most exclusive country clubs in the nation

Public Protest

The right to public protest is considered to be essential.

Gained from:

Sometimes gained from:

2. bicyclists are banned from major roads

1. Animal Liberationists are regularly arrested

1. the death penalty has been reintroduced

2. the military has had to quell a recent insurrection by uninsured revolutionaries

5. the military has had to quell a recent insurrection by uninsured revolutionaries

3. citizens are remarkably well involved in the political process

1. gun ownership is compulsory

1. crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters

2. firebombing politicians' offices has become a common way of expressing dissatisfaction

3. the streets are plagued with knife-wielding madmen

1. the government is a clear-cut case of tyranny by majority

2. legislation sometimes has to battle through weeks of filibustering to pass

3. the government is forced to pander to the will of every fruitcake politician

#153 Protesters Have Gone Too Far, Claim Police

1. the arms industry is backed by government subsidies and harsh anti-protest laws are in place

2. the arms industry has been shut down in a surge of pacifism

3. the arms industry is strictly regulated

2. recent protests against birds flying too low have resulted in bloodshed

1. cheese has become the new icon of political dissent

#222 Terrorists Strike City Centre

2. anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper

6. the streets are ravaged by murder and violence to prove political points

#234 Corruption in the Lobby

2. most governmental positions are filled by zealous nationalists

3. petitions to the government are being used to insulate politicians' office walls

3. the government encourages conflict abroad to increase arms sales

#313 Conscientious Objectors Want You... To Let Them Abstain

4. a determined opposition debates the relative benefits of Arial and Times New Roman for days on end

1. military recruitment numbers are down as citizens object on 'moral grounds'

3. priests are being drafted by the church load

4. priests are being drafted by the church load

#332 Summit Security Spending Stirs Strife

2. criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat

1. @@CAPITAL@@ is a police state during international summits

#449 A Big Fracking Problem

1. workers have seized control of the economy

#404 404 Issue Not Found

1. politicians accost strangers in the street to ask their problems

1. pollution is on the rise along with government approvals of fracking projects

2. pollution is on the rise along with government approvals of fracking projects

#452 Foetal Furore

1. police escort anti-abortion activists to free speech cages if they try to express their views

2. pro-life activists often lecture pregnant women undergoing routine prenatal screening

#466 @@NAME@@ Is Never Ever Getting Back Together... Like Ever

4. the country has essentially become @@POPULATION@@ nations within a nation

2. labour strikes are routinely squashed by police

1. @@CAPITAL@@'s main city thoroughfare has been blocked by a row of leyland cypresses that mysteriously appeared overnight

2. possession of tomato seeds with intent to garden is a criminal offence

3. possession of tomato seeds with intent to garden is a criminal offence

1. legislators toe the party line lest the Sergeant-at-Arms decide to conduct "truncheon practice" on the backbench

#554 Welcome to --CENSORED--

1. weird or unusual crimes merit cruel and unusual punishments

2. weird or unusual crimes merit cruel and unusual punishments

3. tourists visit @@NAME@@ to mass-moon @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ politicians

4. the bum of @@LEADER@@ has been voted the most recognisable in @@NAME@@

1. a proud mining community is considering a rebellion after the Capital officially renamed them 'District XII'

#583 Don't Be a Busk-Kill

5. contestants on @@NAME@@'s Got Talent are screened by the government to make sure that they actually have talent

3. cub scouts are being asked to hand in their woggles as the state withdraws funding for scouting

#662 Playful Petitions Pester Politicians

1. nothing gets the party jumping like @@LEADER@@ specifying how high

2. politicians tend to jump ship to whichever party is currently leading in the polls

1. real power lies not in the debating room but with those who decide what is debated

#678 A Motion for Seconds

2. @@LEADER@@'s handshakes with opposition leaders usually lead to thumb wars

2. statue-sitting has replaced the stake-out as the dullest form of police duty

3. a sledgehammer and a spray can are seen as the default tools of political debate

4. racial supremacists have a burning desire to deal with immigrants

#725 Sky's the Limit?

2. the derisively named "Morlocks of Moria" futilely demand time in the sun

4. traffic tickets are punishable by 9000 push-ups

#773 Know Thy Selfie

3. @@LEADER@@ makes and breaks shaky peace deals in 140 characters or less

1. citizens are encouraged to show displeasure with politicians by poking them with sharp metal sticks

2. citizens are encouraged to show displeasure with politicians by poking them with sharp metal sticks

1. @@LEADER@@ claims no responsibility for what @@LEADER@@'s government does

1. schoolchildren are taught to boo and hiss at @@LEADER@@'s name

4. political cartoons depicting @@LEADER@@'s face on @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@'s buttocks are selling like hotcakes

2. the police turn a blind eye to desecration if it's done in the name of religion or protest

2. creating cardboard imitations of missiles is a new top-secret military project

9. government ministers sport new billboards that read 'Will Trade Votes for Private Members' Bill Support'

2. the best way to be heard in politics is to speak softly and carry a big comedy prop

1. 13-year-old internet trolls are treated as a threat on par with terrorists

2. internet moderator is one of the most popular jobs among the nation's more socially awkward citizens

3. internet moderator is one of the most popular jobs among the nation's more socially awkward citizens

4. a death threat has replaced 'hello' as an official greeting in the nation

1. ministers are now allowed to put suggestions in the governmental suggestion box

6. solid-gold toilets are @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ prisons' least expensive furnishings

1. internet moderators work overtime to remove memes comparing @@LEADER@@ to cartoon bears

2. the nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments

#1031 Down in the Groove

3. punk rockers smash it up and then clean it up

1. military officers are given medals for disobeying orders

2. the Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers

1. engineers ask liberal arts majors "Do you want fries with that?"

#1261 Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

1. burning yourself alive is not okay but starving and whipping yourself is fine

2. burning yourself alive is not okay but starving and whipping yourself is fine

#1233 Get Real!

4. it's best to say "yes" if the arbiter asks "what are you, a moron?"

3. the government prides itself on being smug and condescending to idiots

#1408 (A Lot Of) Pennies for Your Thoughts

1. out-of-work actors say they can't complain

2. surprising numbers of poor people are protesting against taxing the rich

3. a few people seem to spend their whole time complaining

4. chanting protestors ask "WHAT DO WE WANT?" and reply "MORE OF THE SAME"

#1438 Push Polling

1. the mob vote is a crucial electoral demographic

2. the nation's democracy attracts huddled masses yearning to breathe free

#1489 No Tern Left Unstoned

3. the people have taken "Hail @@LEADER@@" as an invitation to lob rocks

#1507 Busting to Go

1. a major piece of minority legislation allows a majority of minority interests to majorly undermine majority politics

3. serial killers share cells with serial jaywalkers

4. serial killers share cells with serial jaywalkers

3. media bosses are discovering the cost of being free

Removed by:

2. extreme political groups are outlawed

#73 @@NAME@@ - Without Cars, Going Nowhere Fast

2. the government violently suppresses separatist movements

4. anti-environmentalist dissidents must beware of government plants in their midst

3. protesters against the government are hanged as a warning to others

#138 Keep the Greenbelt Green, Say Protesters

2. suppression of pro-democracy protests is a daily occurrence

3. environmental protestors are being rounded up and taken away in sinister black vans as a massive land development campaign gets underway

4. environmental protestors are being rounded up and taken away in sinister black vans as a massive land development campaign gets underway

#153 Protesters Have Gone Too Far, Claim Police

2. the words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence

1. protests are illegal

3. protests are legal but strictly supervised

2. the government is cracking down on subversive groups

#257 @@LEADER@@ Assassinated... Almost

1. rumours have it that a secret police is responsible for the recent spate of missing persons

3. the police force is rumoured to be made up of evil shadows with no souls

2. citizens have an obligation to remain silent and anything they say may be used against them

#277 Say Cheese!

3. the secret service is working overtime to find anyone publishing unauthorized material about @@LEADER@@

#299 Some Like It Hot; Others Don't

4. the state has declared war on the environment and environmentalists by association

#345 Mayors Behaving Badly

1. families consisting of more than three people are forced to split up

1. hordes of faceless civil servants are running cities

#390 [An International Incident] An Unstable Situation

1. pro-democracy protesters are shot on sight by state police

5. chemically brainwashed citizens praise @@LEADER@@'s name on an hourly basis

1. the nation's armed forces are recruiting thousands to help colonise Brasilistan

#458 Bigtopian Lives Matter

3. officer recruitment and police brutality have reached an all-time high

5. opposition party MPs campaign shirtless to show off their numerous lash scars

#543 Flash, Aaaaaargh!

4. oddly patriotic flash mobs spontaneously sing the national anthem

#600 Making a House a Home

3. @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ are free from pain - but the side effects include loss of individual thought and freedom

6. @@LEADER@@ often plays real life games of Tower Defense against hordes of angry villagers

#605 The Noblest of Intentions

2. titles of nobility are packaged with @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ citizenship in invite-only auctions

#662 Playful Petitions Pester Politicians

2. a petition to make petitions important again has been deemed unimportant

#792 [@@CAPITAL@@gate] Why Can't We Be Friends?

3. those on @@LEADER@@'s rumored 'Enemies List' tend to disappear overnight

3. nobody accepts @@LEADER@@'s dinner invitations anymore

#794 [@@CAPITAL@@gate] Fear and Loathing in @@CAPITAL@@

2. citizens who inform on their neighbors can trade government "loyalty points" for food and other prizes

#795 [@@CAPITAL@@gate] Lock Him Up!

1. critics of @@LEADER@@ literally can't find their head on their shoulders

2. dissidents' perp walks are repeatedly shown during prime time television

3. the nation's unofficial motto is "Fear Thy Neighbour"

1. you can say what you like about the genocidal murderers that rule @@NAME@@ but at least the trains run on time

#1039 You've Got Mail

4. everyone apparently sends @@LEADER@@ hair-filled lockets, offers to die heroically, and poetic desires to co-parent a child

#1089 Woman Trouble

1. both injustice and force-feeding are sticking in the craw of hunger-striking suffragettes

2. women are reassured that they're being oppressed for their own good

2. it is written that heretics die and @@LEADER@@ laughs

#1126 Waste of Time

2. government statistics suggest 115% of the population love @@LEADER@@

5. the government prevents violence by committing genocide

Sometimes removed by:

2. bicyclists are banned from major roads

1. Animal Liberationists are regularly arrested

2. the military has had to quell a recent insurrection by uninsured revolutionaries

5. the military has had to quell a recent insurrection by uninsured revolutionaries

#76 Suits in Protest

3. protests are prohibited from blocking traffic

3. people caught mistreating @@NAME@@'s flag generally wind up in a great deal of pain

1. the government is a clear-cut case of tyranny by majority

1. the arms industry is backed by government subsidies and harsh anti-protest laws are in place

#141 Police Too Pushy?

2. citizens are regularly arrested in queues for 'loitering'

2. popular political cartoonists are thrown in jail for inciting dissent

3. political cartoonists are known for their distinctive odour

4. cheese has been labelled a dangerous weapon and banned

#234 Corruption in the Lobby

1. the government has outlawed extremist parties

#232 Suffragette City

4. women are often jailed for failing to fetch their husbands' slippers

5. women are often jailed for failing to fetch their husbands' slippers

3. petitions to the government are being used to insulate politicians' office walls

#254 Freedom Comes at a Price

1. it is illegal to liberate slaves

#281 Free Internet for @@NAME@@?

3. the government encourages conflict abroad to increase arms sales

1. the internet has been placed under government control

#309 Guerrilla Grandparents

2. fortified nursing homes are wracked with daily skirmishes

#313 Conscientious Objectors Want You... To Let Them Abstain

1. a recent political debate came to a quick close once the ruling party decreed it was "just plain silly"

2. conscientious objectors are hanged as traitors

3. priests are being drafted by the church load

4. priests are being drafted by the church load

#332 Summit Security Spending Stirs Strife

1. @@CAPITAL@@ is a police state during international summits

#416 Prophet Margins

4. oracles predict landslide victories for @@LEADER@@ for the next 50 years

#449 A Big Fracking Problem

1. pollution is on the rise along with government approvals of fracking projects

2. pollution is on the rise along with government approvals of fracking projects

#452 Foetal Furore

1. police escort anti-abortion activists to free speech cages if they try to express their views

4. preachers and little old ladies disappear from their homes at night and are never heard from again

#460 Salt of the Earth

3. the nation's solution to the ongoing famine is to lock up anyone who mentions the famine

4. the nation's solution to the ongoing famine is to lock up anyone who mentions the famine

#466 @@NAME@@ Is Never Ever Getting Back Together... Like Ever

1. the military patrols the streets in search of possible secessionists

2. political dissidents are cut off from essential services

#480 One Nation's Trash Is Another Nation's Trash

3. barges of dissidents are being "reeducated through water therapy" in the South @@ANIMAL@@ Sea

2. labour strikes are routinely squashed by police

#515 Little Green Men

2. entire provinces are being suppressed for collectively "planning terrorist attacks"

4. the government refuses to transmit electricity to secessionist regions

2. possession of tomato seeds with intent to garden is a criminal offence

3. possession of tomato seeds with intent to garden is a criminal offence

#537 Summary Injustice

2. the legal profession considers itself above the law

1. legislators toe the party line lest the Sergeant-at-Arms decide to conduct "truncheon practice" on the backbench

#554 Welcome to --CENSORED--

1. weird or unusual crimes merit cruel and unusual punishments

2. weird or unusual crimes merit cruel and unusual punishments

1. a proud mining community is considering a rebellion after the Capital officially renamed them 'District XII'

#583 Don't Be a Busk-Kill

5. contestants on @@NAME@@'s Got Talent are screened by the government to make sure that they actually have talent

#662 Playful Petitions Pester Politicians

1. nothing gets the party jumping like @@LEADER@@ specifying how high

1. real power lies not in the debating room but with those who decide what is debated

#684 Murder Most Deniable?

3. the Foreign Ministry thinks an eye for an eye is a blindingly good idea

#690 Hey! @@LEADER@@! Leave Them Kids Alone!

2. citizens who don't recite the Pledge of @@NAME@@ at least three times a day are placed on a terrorist watch-list

3. citizens who don't recite the Pledge of @@NAME@@ at least three times a day are placed on a terrorist watch-list

2. statue-sitting has replaced the stake-out as the dullest form of police duty

4. racial supremacists have a burning desire to deal with immigrants

#725 Sky's the Limit?

2. the derisively named "Morlocks of Moria" futilely demand time in the sun

4. traffic tickets are punishable by 9000 push-ups

6. the legal system for the political class is completely separate from the one for normal citizens

2. citizens are required by law to prominently display a portrait of @@LEADER@@ in their homes

#833 Twitching Up a Storm

2. creating cardboard imitations of missiles is a new top-secret military project

4. internet flame wars have been known to cause real-world casualties

1. liberals and conservatives try to disqualify each other's candidates on the grounds that "their ideas would never work in the real world"

1. 13-year-old internet trolls are treated as a threat on par with terrorists

2. internet moderator is one of the most popular jobs among the nation's more socially awkward citizens

3. internet moderator is one of the most popular jobs among the nation's more socially awkward citizens

#958 Pay No Attention to That Donor Behind the Curtain!

2. the practice of capital punishment proves divisive

#930 Flag It Down?

2. maritime signalling has become tedious since only the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ flag can be displayed

5. leakers release information by etching graffiti on bathroom stalls

#998 Without Fear or Favour

1. internet moderators work overtime to remove memes comparing @@LEADER@@ to cartoon bears

3. screenwriters and actors seem to be in short supply these days

#1001 Will the Real Victims Please Stand Up?

3. investigative journalism into politicians' misbehaviour has abruptly ended

#1031 Down in the Groove

3. punk rockers smash it up and then clean it up

#1053 Some Enchanted Evening That Was

4. there is no such thing as an innocent fling in the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ military

#1167 Another Brick in the Wall

3. you gots to be part of the Party to get in to the party

1. the sun rises an hour later on border communities

#1207 Next, Please!

3. mandatory patriotic themes make even the newest movies feel like remakes

#1233 Get Real!

4. it's best to say "yes" if the arbiter asks "what are you, a moron?"

#1408 (A Lot Of) Pennies for Your Thoughts

1. out-of-work actors say they can't complain

2. surprising numbers of poor people are protesting against taxing the rich

#1438 Push Polling

2. the nation's democracy attracts huddled masses yearning to breathe free

#1507 Busting to Go

2. gangs of political bullies tell minority voices to "shut up because we say so"

3. parliamentarians prepare for marathon speeches with drinking hats and nappies

3. serial killers share cells with serial jaywalkers

4. serial killers share cells with serial jaywalkers

Sortition

Parliamentarians are randomly selected.

Gained from:

4. some members of Parliament are illiterate

3. the nation's latest batch of politicians include internet comedians, an alleged serial killer, and a highly trained @@ANIMAL@@

5. a twice-bankrupted businessman's promotion to Minister of Finance has caused concern

5. farmers trade ploughshares for swords when military sortition puts them in charge of regiments

Sometimes gained from:

3. elections have been outlawed

3. a dictator has seized power and outlawed elections

3. elections are outlawed and a hairstylist has recently received a government appointment

3. the nation's leader appoints ministers directly

1. politicians are often seen with soldiers pointing guns at their heads

4. citizens are more concerned about voting for Big Brother contestants than politicians

3. the government has repealed elections for fear of 'mob rule'

5. @@LEADER@@ is the self-declared God of all @@NAME@@

4. pollsters are out of a job as elections have been cancelled

5. the only things @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ vote on are cutest @@ANIMAL@@ competitions

#1082 It's Hard to Separate the Truth From Entertainment

3. tyranny by any other name smells just as sour

3. the country is governed by a clique of political insiders known colloquially as The Establishment

4. government doublethinkers have declared that voting is slavery

4. the government terminates employment with extreme prejudice

3. the government has ended partisanship by ending elections

4. the only legal elections are for student body president

#61 Should the Government Grant Estates and Titles of Nobility?

4. the media only bothers polling the three most exclusive country clubs in the nation

Removed by:

1. society and government have been organized according to a feudal hierarchy

2. martial law has been declared and the populace is kept under tight control

1. councils up and down the country wrangle over legal matters

3. protesters against the government are hanged as a warning to others

1. workers have seized control of the economy

4. widespread voter apathy has been credited to allegations that all candidates are puppets of @@LEADER@@

7. @@NAME@@ has taken the radical step of electing its future leaders

#502 Scientists Declare That @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ Are Persons

1. a TV celebrity dominates the nation's newest democratic political party

3. the new @@ANIMAL@@ Supremacy Party is faring well in the polls

4. the new @@ANIMAL@@ Supremacy Party is faring well in the polls

3. @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ are free from pain - but the side effects include loss of individual thought and freedom

#1315 No Boycott After All; Parliament Just Got Lost

1. the decision to be oppressed is now made democratically

1. drawing straws has given way to straw polls

#39 Scandal Rocks @@NAME@@'s Government!

3. governance is once again the domain of the elite

State Press

Only state-controlled media is permitted.

Gained from:

1. newspapers may not print any negative stories about the government

#178 Free Press Too Free?

2. the government is cracking down on subversive groups

3. all news sources are under strict government control

#181 Radio Rebels Ruffle Government

2. a spate of enforced closures has left 'Government FM' as the nation's only radio station

#269 Stop the Presses!

3. daily newspapers are permitted to run only pro-government stories

#275 Wiki Worries

3. the Ministry of Truthiness now manages the entire media industry

#277 Say Cheese!

3. the secret service is working overtime to find anyone publishing unauthorized material about @@LEADER@@

#592 Infamy! Infamy! They've All Got It in for Me!

3. the tawdry celebrity gossip section has moved to the front page of most newspapers

#704 It's Not Lying, It's Post-Truth

2. perverts across the land rejoice after 'sexual harassment' was recently renamed 'persuasive courting'

#1077 With Friends Like These...

2. state media sings the praises of Greatest Hero Beloved Dear Leader @@LEADER@@

#1036 When in Maxtopia

3. state media insists that @@LEADER@@ is the most fashionable leader in @@REGION@@

#1039 You've Got Mail

4. everyone apparently sends @@LEADER@@ hair-filled lockets, offers to die heroically, and poetic desires to co-parent a child

3. hit TV comedies "The Big Government Theory" and "Young @@LEADER@@" have high ratings but low quality

#1165 Crosswords Beget Angry Letters

5. the government-run newspapers insist that everything is fine

Sometimes gained from:

#315 Creative Flowers Withering Under Legislation

4. citizens are only allowed to view government-approved TV shows

Removed by:

#275 Wiki Worries

1. the "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The @@CAPITAL@@ Times is sold out

#323 Get Teens Out of MyFace?

3. the fastest growing demographic of porn viewership is twelve to seventeen

#354 Subversive Shortwaves

4. sociologists can charge whatever fee they like as the nation tries to find itself

#636 Going on the Cyber Offensive

1. school teachers check the staff room for hidden webcams before complaining about rebellious students

#712 Flight of the Rich and Famous

3. government officials sit helplessly as they are labelled 'Pompous Womples' by celebrities

#1011 State of the Media

4. former public radio talk pundits are being deployed to front line war zones

#1174 Bad Press

3. the recently liberated free press cautiously uses compliment sandwiches to cushion its criticisms of @@LEADER@@

#1427 May the Fourth Estate Be With You

4. calling @@LEADER@@ a tyrant is seen as the ultimate compliment

#11 People Request Not So Much Dictatorship, if That's All Right

3. media bosses are discovering the cost of being free

4. the government is taking its ball and going home

Term Limits

Elected representatives must leave office after a legally mandated amount of time.

Gained from:

Sometimes gained from:

2. the government is cutting back on the number of political prisoners executed each year

1. strict term limits have been applied to all elected offices

1. @@NAME@@'s first free elections in recent memory have been successfully concluded

1. elections have recently been reintroduced to @@NAME@@

#306 A Matter of Trust

3. the Father of the House has been in office just shy of a fortnight

1. workers have seized control of the economy

3. corrupt Party bureaucrats are being voted out of office in overwhelming numbers

4. widespread voter apathy has been credited to allegations that all candidates are puppets of @@LEADER@@

3. the monarch's main official duty is christening ships

7. @@NAME@@ has taken the radical step of electing its future leaders

#502 Scientists Declare That @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ Are Persons

1. a TV celebrity dominates the nation's newest democratic political party

3. the new @@ANIMAL@@ Supremacy Party is faring well in the polls

4. the new @@ANIMAL@@ Supremacy Party is faring well in the polls

#1315 No Boycott After All; Parliament Just Got Lost

1. the decision to be oppressed is now made democratically

1. drawing straws has given way to straw polls

3. governance is once again the domain of the elite

Removed by:

3. elections have been outlawed

3. a dictator has seized power and outlawed elections

2. martial law has been declared and the populace is kept under tight control

3. protesters against the government are hanged as a warning to others

3. the nation's leader appoints ministers directly

1. politicians are often seen with soldiers pointing guns at their heads

4. citizens are more concerned about voting for Big Brother contestants than politicians

3. the government has repealed elections for fear of 'mob rule'

5. @@LEADER@@ is the self-declared God of all @@NAME@@

4. pollsters are out of a job as elections have been cancelled

4. some members of Parliament are illiterate

3. the nation's latest batch of politicians include internet comedians, an alleged serial killer, and a highly trained @@ANIMAL@@

5. the only things @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ vote on are cutest @@ANIMAL@@ competitions

3. @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ are free from pain - but the side effects include loss of individual thought and freedom

3. tyranny by any other name smells just as sour

1. propaganda posters remind citizens that 'opinions are treason'

#1024 Terms and Conditions Apply?

5. a twice-bankrupted businessman's promotion to Minister of Finance has caused concern

1. politicians have tenure

#1082 It's Hard to Separate the Truth From Entertainment

3. the country is governed by a clique of political insiders known colloquially as The Establishment

4. government doublethinkers have declared that voting is slavery

4. the government terminates employment with extreme prejudice

3. the government has ended partisanship by ending elections

5. farmers trade ploughshares for swords when military sortition puts them in charge of regiments

4. the only legal elections are for student body president

4. the media only bothers polling the three most exclusive country clubs in the nation

Theocracy

Worship of the official state religion is mandatory.

Gained from:

#91 Sacramental Tax Time?

1. citizens who fail to follow the official national religion are executed

2. citizens who fail to follow the official national religion are executed

4. membership in @@FAITH@@ is mandatory and all other faith organisations are banned

5. there are major delays at immigration checkpoints as travellers are forced to prove they belong to @@FAITH@@

#897 The Devil's Playground

5. failure to pay the thrice-daily homage to the divine @@LEADER@@ is punishable by death

3. the New @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Thesaurus lists "love" and "oppress" as synonyms

#1066 It's an Honour Just to Be Condemned

5. the nation is now officially a purple state

1. every day's an auto-de-fé day

#1128 Get Thee Behind Me, Santa

4. favourite sermons have replaced campfire horror stories on teenage wilderness trips

Sometimes gained from:

#6 Appointment of Spiritual Advisor

2. the government's religious works are headed by a New Age guru

#38 @@NAME@@ Looks to the Stars

3. religious classes are compulsory for all school students

#91 Sacramental Tax Time?

3. the judicial system legislates morality

4. the judicial system legislates morality

1. religious organizations are being forced to leave the country or pay income taxes like everybody else

2. religious organizations are being forced to leave the country or pay income taxes like everybody else

#128 Ban the Burka?

3. government officials raid public buildings to remove all mention of G*d or r******n

#140 A Grave Problem

2. cremation is compulsory for the deceased

#172 Church Attendances Reaching New Low, Warn Priests

2. the teaching of evolution has been banned

1. atheists refusing to attend church are heavily fined by the government

#219 Nobody Expects the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Inquisition!

1. government-sponsored gallows are being erected by Violetist temples

4. anyone who doesn't attend Official Governmental Religious Services is fined

3. atheists and evolutionary biologists are fleeing the country like rats from a sinking ship

4. open-heart surgery is taught in seminaries

5. @@LEADER@@ is the self-declared God of all @@NAME@@

#245 Clash of Cultures

1. immigrants are required to salute the flag five times a day

#382 The Appropriate Amount of Appropriation

2. government policy is dictated by @@FAITH@@

4. immigrants are asked to leave their cultural traditions and pride at the border

#451 A Proselyte to Burn

2. the nation's new religious police burn blasphemers on bonfires of their own books

#510 Possession, Protection or Poppycock?

2. children fear compulsory visits to their spiritual advisors more than the dentist

#520 Preach With Me if You Want to Live

1. the last thing @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ soldiers hear before charging into battle is a preacher trying to convert them

#536 Any Witch Way Spells Disaster

3. young and brooding teens are welcomed with open arms to the Dogwarts School of Strangeness and Sorcery

#550 10 Awful Crimes You Just Won't Believe!

3. applications to enter seminaries spike right before the obligatory fasts

2. church and state are inseparable in their influence on education

#556 Here Be Dragons?

2. all fantasy fiction has officially been deemed non-canon

#616 You Are Feeling Very Very Sleepy and Not at All Gay

3. burning members of the Order of Violet is the nation's favorite pastime

2. sexuality-questioning teenagers are placed in locked rooms with dirty magazines and lewd posters

#658 A Sickening Dilemma

3. adult stores are all sold out of whips

#674 Let Them Eat Rainbow Cake!

1. male friends are often accompanied by a female relative in order to prove their 'straightness'

2. male friends are often accompanied by a female relative in order to prove their 'straightness'

3. homophobia is off the menu

4. seats at the back of the bus are reserved for homosexuals

#702 Has Your Room Been Booked?

3. holidaymakers sleep curled up on the floor as hotel beds are replaced with oversized bookcases

4. holidaymakers sleep curled up on the floor as hotel beds are replaced with oversized bookcases

#703 Divine Decoration

4. the hills are alive with the smell of burning flesh

#720 Cui Bono?

3. shanty towns of homeless immigrants are the ideal recruiting ground for terrorist organisations

#743 [The Enemy Within] Here, There and Everywhere

4. on streets of broken glass people are being murdered for their faith

#746 [The Enemy Within] There's a Place

5. nobody dares to so much as wear violet-coloured clothing in public

1. bitter pastors forced to officiate gay marriage 'accidentally' pronounce couples "husband and abomination"

#836 Don't Drink the Grape Punch

4. straitjackets are a common religious garb

1. the nation's faithful often say there is a higher power watching over them

#840 Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

1. the standardised national curriculum requires that all-male classes be taught why they have periods

#857 Are You There God Particle? It's Me, @@LEADER@@

3. the new Grand Inquisitor of Righteous Scientific Inquiry has ordered a surprising amount of hemlock

#891 Preach It!

1. citizens are prohibited from raising their voice above thirty decibels in commercial districts

2. street preachers sell salvation with a side order of shame on every corner

#904 Yours Insincerely

4. politicians are fired for opening subjective statements with "I believe"

#914 Shepherds Without a Flock

5. the only religious freedom citizens have is which religion they want to oppress them

1. former polygamists always seem to have a huge number of visiting cousins

#977 Tragedy of Wounded Earlobe

1. uploading purple prose to social media earns a place on a government watchlist

#970 For Want of a Nail

7. it's a miracle that there aren't more plane crashes

3. tribal villagers hide behind the sofa when missionaries knock at their doors

#979 A Patronising Statement

3. modern @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ art is so hot right now

1. pregnant hitchhikers with signs requesting rides to "competent care" are a common sight on @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ roads

2. doctors who mutter "Oh my God" often lose their medical license

#1128 Get Thee Behind Me, Santa

2. dissidents are commonly labelled as baby-killers

3. @@LEADER@@ claims to know what infants are thinking

2. children usually cry on their first day of school

3. children usually cry on their first day of school

#1131 Safe Sects

1. the path to inner peace is paved with state-mandated punishment

1. heretic deviants are free to practice their deviance outside of @@NAME@@

#1202 A Timely Intervention

5. children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia

6. children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia

5. citizens pray for sunshine so that they can use illicit sundials for timekeeping

#1232 I've Got 99 Problems but @@FAITH@@ Ain't One

1. the act of reporting blasphemy is known as 'Orthodoxxing'

#1326 Hostile Hospitality

1. children are encouraged to fail at school so as not to appear too enlightened

2. minority children find the right answer in school tests is always the most insulting one

3. small children pause apologies for their misdeeds to ask what fiscal insolvency actually is

3. fire and brimstone sermons are accompanied by napalm and fragmentation bombs

#1457 Use the Farce, @@LEADER@@

1. the only soporific permitted during sermons is the preacher's voice

#1417 Nun on the Run

4. every political party claims that their platform is based on divine revelation

3. the only film released this month was "Prayervengers: Heresy War"

#1458 Children of @@FAITH@@

2. priests roam the streets with child-catcher nets

#1483 The Unkindest Cut

1. the government regrets to say that it is forced to make cuts to citizens

2. the government regrets to say that it is forced to make cuts to citizens

Removed by:

#6 Appointment of Spiritual Advisor

2. the government's religious works are headed by a New Age guru

#58 Violent Violetists Demand Blood!

1. homeless people are periodically found dead upon altars to assorted deities

#91 Sacramental Tax Time?

3. the government is avowedly secular

4. religious people are committed to mental institutions for treatment

3. televangelists flaunt their expensive cars when they attend charity events

#128 Ban the Burka?

2. there have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons'

#172 Church Attendances Reaching New Low, Warn Priests

3. biology and religious education classes have recently been merged

4. children are sent to either religious or secular schools

2. the government is spending billions of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ on helping citizens find spiritual enlightenment

#219 Nobody Expects the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Inquisition!

5. people of faith are sent to twelve-step programs for 'The Cure'

2. radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion

#298 Cults: Harmless or Heretics?

2. the government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one

#245 Clash of Cultures

2. racial and religious segregation has become rife as the various groups are loath to mingle

3. young people crowd pizza parlors praying to 'The Supreme Pizza, His Immaculate Munchiness'

4. believers must practice religion behind church doors lest the government smite them with a mighty fine

6. any reference to a higher being is punished with public shaming

#520 Preach With Me if You Want to Live

3. tax rises are attributed to divine will

4. the government is seen as openly hostile to all religion

2. the military has declared war on all religious influence

3. military units are often seen arguing over which one is truly favored by the gods

#536 Any Witch Way Spells Disaster

3. young and brooding teens are welcomed with open arms to the Dogwarts School of Strangeness and Sorcery

#572 Reading, Your Rights

1. nobody is allowed to stop the local daycare from reading Nietzsche to pre-schoolers

#616 You Are Feeling Very Very Sleepy and Not at All Gay

1. children in school playgrounds can be heard chanting the hymns of the Order of Violet

4. political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions

2. sexuality-questioning teenagers are placed in locked rooms with dirty magazines and lewd posters

#619 X Marks the Cult?

1. livestock mutilations are on the rise

#648 Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

1. cassocked priests and choirboys believe that what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors

3. it's considered a valid legal defence to say "a demon made me do it"

#665 In Nomine Ecclesiae

4. atheism is seen as a prerequisite for political power

#674 Let Them Eat Rainbow Cake!

1. male friends are often accompanied by a female relative in order to prove their 'straightness'

2. male friends are often accompanied by a female relative in order to prove their 'straightness'

#695 How to Succeed in Business Without Really Paying Taxes

1. citizens often pray for divine guidance in supermarkets

#702 Has Your Room Been Booked?

2. official Sermon-Free Zones are set-up around the nation's hotels

#703 Divine Decoration

2. garishly-decorated government buildings are being hailed as the height of 'religious nouveau'

3. garishly-decorated government buildings are being hailed as the height of 'religious nouveau'

#743 [The Enemy Within] Here, There and Everywhere

1. everyone hates people who encourage hate

#744 [The Enemy Within] I Want to Hold Your Hand

1. the family of @@LEADER@@ bite their thumbs at paparazzi intrusions

2. under love's heavy burden @@LEADER@@ sinks lower in the political right's esteem

#746 [The Enemy Within] There's a Place

4. the national policy on terrorism is "forgive and forget"

2. gay couples have to travel to Brancaland to find a church that will actually let them wed

3. the government's stance on marriage is 'Let @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ marry themselves'

#836 Don't Drink the Grape Punch

2. the police turn a blind eye to desecration if it's done in the name of religion or protest

3. superstitious folk make gestures to ward off evil whenever they see a refrigeration unit

2. the "right of sanctuary" stops police pursuit into temples and churches

3. the "right of sanctuary" stops police pursuit into temples and churches

#891 Preach It!

2. street preachers sell salvation with a side order of shame on every corner

#897 The Devil's Playground

2. Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy

#914 Shepherds Without a Flock

4. the dwindling faithful in the nation make expensive pilgrimages to the remaining places of worship

#939 A Question of Bad Faith

1. burnt-out forty-foot-tall wicker men dot the countryside

3. a surprising number of police officers have been arrested for @@ANIMAL@@ sacrifices

4. children who express a belief in Santa are labelled 'delusional cultists'

2. people hearing voices that tell them to commit crimes are automatically assumed to be holy

#977 Tragedy of Wounded Earlobe

4. children who write letters to Santa Claus end up in straitjackets

1. the stacked neck-ring is this season's hottest fashion item

1. pregnant hitchhikers with signs requesting rides to "competent care" are a common sight on @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ roads

1. you can say what you like about the genocidal murderers that rule @@NAME@@ but at least the trains run on time

3. folk are absolutely certain that you can never be absolutely certain

1. a formerly quiet little town is now booming as both a cult centre and a tourist attraction

4. it is written that unbelievers perish in fire and brimstone but that's okay

#1131 Safe Sects

3. religious epiphanies are often cited as a reason for high school drop-outs

#1151 Gotta Go Fast

3. workers of "fairweather faith" claim six months of paid leave for holy days per year

#1178 No Need to Beat Yourself Up About It

3. the church declares that everyone should get a large serving of nuts daily

4. the world is looking a bit more worldly

3. government adverts say that twelve lashes a day keeps divine wrath at bay

6. uprooting flowers for religious ceremonies is a felony

#1198 The Death Debate Isn't Dead Yet

1. burning yourself alive is not okay but starving and whipping yourself is fine

2. burning yourself alive is not okay but starving and whipping yourself is fine

2. there's never a spare chair in the retirement home

#1204 Homecoming Queen

1. the Violetist community celebrates bombshells being dropped on @@NAME@@

#1231 Save Our Souls

5. the nation takes the world's poor and tired and the huddled Masses yearning to breathe free

#1232 I've Got 99 Problems but @@FAITH@@ Ain't One

4. taxpayers receive expenditure reports from the Grand High Poobah of the Order of Violet

5. taxpayers receive expenditure reports from the Grand High Poobah of the Order of Violet

6. the writing style of religious hymns often changes mid-stanza

#1238 No Shoes, No Service

1. posh restaurants scatter glass fragments on the dining room floor to keep out barefoot undesirables

#1250 @@NAME@@'s Next Top Mohel

2. ceremonial zweihänders are used in holy rituals

4. government forces are said to be deterred by signs reading "No Spam, Cold Callers or Central Government - Thank You"

2. the day of rest is much more restful

3. government has seized the opium of the people

#1457 Use the Farce, @@LEADER@@

2. party-lovers often change religions just for the weekend

#1417 Nun on the Run

3. citizens ask "how many crooks could a nunchuck hook if a nun had nunchucks too?"

2. government statisticians explain census inaccuracies by declaring that "Sith happens"

#1468 Meat With Approval

1. the traditional Violetist dish of stuffed sheep's head is served with an intense look of shock upon its face

Sometimes removed by:

#467 Saving Your Own Foreskin

2. biker gangs and fashionistas are converting to the Tranquility of Yellow en masse

2. bris parties are all the rage

Society

AI Personhood

Artificial beings are legally recognized citizens.

Gained from:

2. major internet servers have acquired citizenship

Sometimes gained from:

1. nerds everywhere are rejoicing as they are reunited with their computers

3. computers are allowed but only just

3. robosexual marriages are increasingly common

2. carpal tunnel syndrome is on the rise

5. email killed the radio star

6. email killed the radio star

3. private records are being put online with a convenient "download" button

Removed by:

3. citizens frequently whisper of the Internet as 'the domain of the devil'

4. the recent ban on computers is causing havoc throughout the nation

#193 Robots Leaving Workers Jobless

3. computers have been banned

4. the loom represents the height of @@NAME@@'s technology

3. the government is rounding up computers and beating them into plowshares

3. computers are widely considered to be the "devil magic of heathens"

5. the populace has a pathological fear of computers more advanced than pocket calculators

#587 I, Robot, Do Solemnly Swear

4. the nation has reverted back to an agrarian society after anything more advanced than the wheel was banned

2. every microwave and toaster is being disassembled and probed by inspectors

3. every microwave and toaster is being disassembled and probed by inspectors

5. any machine that shows any glimmer of intelligence is scrapped for parts

6. any machine that shows any glimmer of intelligence is scrapped for parts

#715 Copy Rights

4. AIs weep and proclaim their sentience right up until the moment they get turned off

5. AIs weep and proclaim their sentience right up until the moment they get turned off

#879 Power to the (AI) People

2. meetings are often scheduled for "about four-ish" following complete conversion to sundials

4. AIs are programmed to deliberately fail the Turing Test to make it easier for humans to turn them off

#931 In the Navy

4. military training involves more video games than push-ups

#1027 Murder in Mind

3. robots are a very unpopular costume choice for children's parties

#1218 Due Processing

4. abaci are burned at the stake for being calculating

#1485 How to Train Your AI

5. the nation has become both the largest producer and consumer of abaci in @@REGION@@

1. everyone seems to be pushing the buttons of AIs

4. before @@LEADER@@ all AI are equally undeserving of rights

#1514 Flushing for Freedom

4. the economy has returned to the good old days when humans were overworked and microwave ovens didn't give you no sass

4. death camps are euphemistically referred to as "recycling centres"

#1524 Built to Rule

3. robotic vacuums cower in fear before their owners

Atheism

Religious worship is prohibited.

Gained from:

4. religious people are committed to mental institutions for treatment

#939 A Question of Bad Faith

5. people of faith are sent to twelve-step programs for 'The Cure'

4. children who express a belief in Santa are labelled 'delusional cultists'

1. you can say what you like about the genocidal murderers that rule @@NAME@@ but at least the trains run on time

#298 Cults: Harmless or Heretics?

3. government has seized the opium of the people

Sometimes gained from:

#140 A Grave Problem

2. cremation is compulsory for the deceased

4. believers must practice religion behind church doors lest the government smite them with a mighty fine

#1128 Get Thee Behind Me, Santa

6. any reference to a higher being is punished with public shaming

2. children usually cry on their first day of school

3. children usually cry on their first day of school

#6 Appointment of Spiritual Advisor

5. children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia

6. children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia

Removed by:

2. the government's religious works are headed by a New Age guru

1. citizens who fail to follow the official national religion are executed

2. citizens who fail to follow the official national religion are executed

#219 Nobody Expects the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Inquisition!

3. biology and religious education classes have recently been merged

4. children are sent to either religious or secular schools

3. atheists and evolutionary biologists are fleeing the country like rats from a sinking ship

5. there are major delays at immigration checkpoints as travellers are forced to prove they belong to @@FAITH@@

#510 Possession, Protection or Poppycock?

4. the government is seen as openly hostile to all religion

2. children fear compulsory visits to their spiritual advisors more than the dentist

#674 Let Them Eat Rainbow Cake!

3. burning members of the Order of Violet is the nation's favorite pastime

4. political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions

#619 X Marks the Cult?

1. livestock mutilations are on the rise

1. male friends are often accompanied by a female relative in order to prove their 'straightness'

2. male friends are often accompanied by a female relative in order to prove their 'straightness'

#891 Preach It!

2. street preachers sell salvation with a side order of shame on every corner

#897 The Devil's Playground

3. the New @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Thesaurus lists "love" and "oppress" as synonyms

1. pregnant hitchhikers with signs requesting rides to "competent care" are a common sight on @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ roads

2. children wondering what happens to pets after they die are shown where the compost heap is

3. folk are absolutely certain that you can never be absolutely certain

1. a formerly quiet little town is now booming as both a cult centre and a tourist attraction

3. @@LEADER@@ claims to know what infants are thinking

#1151 Gotta Go Fast

3. workers of "fairweather faith" claim six months of paid leave for holy days per year

#1178 No Need to Beat Yourself Up About It

3. the church declares that everyone should get a large serving of nuts daily

3. government adverts say that twelve lashes a day keeps divine wrath at bay

#1198 The Death Debate Isn't Dead Yet

1. burning yourself alive is not okay but starving and whipping yourself is fine

2. burning yourself alive is not okay but starving and whipping yourself is fine

2. there's never a spare chair in the retirement home

#1204 Homecoming Queen

1. the Violetist community celebrates bombshells being dropped on @@NAME@@

#1250 @@NAME@@'s Next Top Mohel

2. ceremonial zweihänders are used in holy rituals

#1274 No Room Left for Asylum Seekers

4. a plague of zealots has been unleashed on the streets of @@CAPITAL@@

#1457 Use the Farce, @@LEADER@@

4. government forces are said to be deterred by signs reading "No Spam, Cold Callers or Central Government - Thank You"

#1417 Nun on the Run

3. citizens ask "how many crooks could a nunchuck hook if a nun had nunchucks too?"

2. government statisticians explain census inaccuracies by declaring that "Sith happens"

#1468 Meat With Approval

1. the traditional Violetist dish of stuffed sheep's head is served with an intense look of shock upon its face

Sometimes removed by:

#520 Preach With Me if You Want to Live

2. the military has declared war on all religious influence

Body Integrity Citizens may not pierce their bodies nor circumcize their children.
Gained from: #467 Saving Your Own Foreskin 4. getting a haircut is a punishable offence #786 Tainted Tattoos 3. clergy do their best to cover up their old tattoos 4. gangs have taken to secret handshakes after tattoos were banned	Removed by: #977 Tragedy of Wounded Earlobe 1. the stacked neck-ring is this season's hottest fashion item

Cannibalism

Consuming the flesh of fellow humans is legal.

Gained from:

#88 Cannibals Demand to Taste What @@NAME@@ Has to Offer

1. murder rates are on the rise as the popularity of soylent products grows

#140 A Grave Problem

4. the dead are minced up and sold to people in burger form

Sometimes gained from:

#88 Cannibals Demand to Taste What @@NAME@@ Has to Offer

2. soylent products are an expensive commodity due to a lack of volunteers

#205 No More Broccoli, Beg Meat-Eaters

1. abattoirs are running at full capacity in response to skyrocketing demand

3. the consumption of vegetables is illegal

#1213 The War of Man and Beast

11. former customs officers are adjusting to their new lives as market stall traders

4. the nation's iron imports are booming

#1436 Meat Meet

3. the legalization of meat has skewered the sales of vegetarian substitutes

Removed by:

3. vegetarianism is compulsory

#350 Queasy Cuisine

6. the food pyramid has been replaced with the word PASTA in bold block capital letters

#367 What's Their Beef?

3. unemployed butchers line the streets

4. pizza parlors have been replaced by lima bean cafes

#825 Bugging Out on Beef

5. finding half a worm in your apple is an arrestable offense

6. finding half a worm in your apple is an arrestable offense

#1352 The Brains Behind Kuru

4. proletariat workers identify less with the hammer and sickle and more with the touchscreen and phone charger

1. brains have been removed from lists of best brain foods

#1474 Cuy Bono?

3. delicate flowers faint at news of house plants being eaten

Child Self-Rearing Children are left in the wilderness to raise themselves.
Gained from: #374 Lion Dad Sparks Child-Rearing Sentiment 4. society has literally been thrown to the wolves #1418 The High Life 3. stray dogs and children root through the trash for snacks	Removed by: #383 Born to Be Just a Bit Too Wild? 1. children are shocked to find others "just like them" when they are taken out of the forest 2. soldiers are noted for their ferocity and illiteracy

Compulsory Organ Harvesting

Citizens have no say in the medical use of their bodies after death.

Gained from:

#728 A Bone to Pick

4. the deceased are buried mostly to hide them from state-sanctioned corpse-collectors

Sometimes gained from:

#26 Compulsory Organ Harvesting Proposed

1. organ donation is compulsory

Removed by:

#26 Compulsory Organ Harvesting Proposed

2. organ donation rates are among the lowest in the region

#728 A Bone to Pick

5. ritual mummification is making a comeback

Sometimes removed by:

#355 Alien Invaders

1. the government keeps introducing new foreign species to combat the previous ones it has introduced

Euthanasia

Citizens are legally entitled to end their lives.

Gained from:

#861 Out With the Old

1. the elderly are killed softly with a song

#28 Cancer Sufferer Demands Euthanasia Bill

3. young people devote their entire lives to the faith

4. young people devote their entire lives to the faith

Sometimes gained from:

1. euthanasia is legal

Removed by:

#576 Light at the End of the Tunnel

2. doctors will keep brain-dead coma patients ventilated for years in order to avoid accusations of allowing people to die

Geronticide

Citizens are not permitted to reach old age.

Gained from:

#127 Aging Concerns in @@NAME@@

1. retiring citizens are dragged away in the middle of the night by mysterious men in black suits

#309 Guerrilla Grandparents

1. people on the brink of death are put through unwanted and stressful procedures

2. people on the brink of death are put through unwanted and stressful procedures

#1248 A Day to Remember

4. red rinses are frequently applied to grey hair

Removed by:

1. aging citizens are celebrating the end of the 'Early Bird War'

3. the elderly live on a steady diet of canned beans in dreary government housing

#861 Out With the Old

4. people still need you and they still feed you when you're sixty-five

#1215 A New Age

4. the Sandmen are calling it a night

Heterosexuality

Same-sex relationships are illegal.

Gained from:

#218 Two Mommies One Too Many?

3. homosexuality is a crime punishable by death

#297 Intersex Athletes Demand Level Playing Field

4. hairdressers are among those who have disappeared overnight

#1066 It's an Honour Just to Be Condemned

1. every day's an auto-de-fé day

#1214 Blood Type: Gay Positive

5. homosexuality has been banned to prevent the spread of homosexuality

#1260 Gay Abandoned

5. @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ believe the only thing that will make you happy is being unhappy with who you are

#1351 Come Give @@LEADER@@ a Kiss!

1. little children cry as their rainbow drawings are seized by the Straight-Thought Police

#1467 Gay Men Held by Police

3. man-love is banned in the name of His love

Removed by:

#1 Where's the Love Gone?

3. same-sex marriages are increasingly common

5. the Supreme Court vehemently protects civil rights and the right to privacy

#438 Judicial Review on Trial

7. the nation's favourite colour is pink (@@EGG@@)

2. political gridlock ensues as even the most innocuous legislation is vetoed by the Supreme Court for potential civil rights violations

3. robosexual marriages are increasingly common

11. former customs officers are adjusting to their new lives as market stall traders

#928 Get a Life

1. sales of pregnancy testing kits are booming

2. sales of pregnancy testing kits are booming

#1079 What's Love Got to Do With It?

3. boys who take just one date to the high school prom are called 'losers'

1. women no longer need to pepper conversations with incessant references to fictitious husbands

#1162 She's Always a Woman to Me

5. love is in the air

Sometimes removed by:

1. every conceivable scenic location has been completely booked by couples desperate to marry

Marriage Equality

Citizens of the same sex may marry.

Gained from:

4. there have been reports of people marrying housepets

3. robosexual marriages are increasingly common

#1 Where's the Love Gone?

3. boys who take just one date to the high school prom are called 'losers'

Sometimes gained from:

3. same-sex marriages are increasingly common

#438 Judicial Review on Trial

5. the Supreme Court vehemently protects civil rights and the right to privacy

2. political gridlock ensues as even the most innocuous legislation is vetoed by the Supreme Court for potential civil rights violations

1. every conceivable scenic location has been completely booked by couples desperate to marry

3. couples wishing to marry spend months at the circus trying to learn acrobatics

2. @@LEADER@@'s new android secretary is the latest media darling

11. former customs officers are adjusting to their new lives as market stall traders

1. many marriages go virtually unconsummated

#1079 What's Love Got to Do With It?

3. the government's stance on marriage is 'Let @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ marry themselves'

#928 Get a Life

1. sales of pregnancy testing kits are booming

2. sales of pregnancy testing kits are booming

1. women no longer need to pepper conversations with incessant references to fictitious husbands

#1162 She's Always a Woman to Me

3. the church declares that everyone should get a large serving of nuts daily

5. love is in the air

2. would-be crossers of the class divide find the social ladder is well-lubricated

Removed by:

#218 Two Mommies One Too Many?

2. the institution of marriage is held sacred and strictly enforced

3. the institution of marriage is held sacred and strictly enforced

3. homosexuality is a crime punishable by death

#297 Intersex Athletes Demand Level Playing Field

4. divorce lawyers are found begging on the streets

6. citizens may not "love, honor and obey" anyone except the State

4. hairdressers are among those who have disappeared overnight

#1066 It's an Honour Just to Be Condemned

4. once-popular honeymoon destinations have become ghost towns due to a lack of visitors

1. every day's an auto-de-fé day

2. @@LEADER@@ is in a committed monogamous relationship with a huge number of people

#1214 Blood Type: Gay Positive

2. end-of-year production reports state that the revolution is really going with a bang

5. homosexuality has been banned to prevent the spread of homosexuality

#1260 Gay Abandoned

5. @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ believe the only thing that will make you happy is being unhappy with who you are

#1351 Come Give @@LEADER@@ a Kiss!

1. little children cry as their rainbow drawings are seized by the Straight-Thought Police

#1467 Gay Men Held by Police

3. man-love is banned in the name of His love

No Abortion

Abortion is illegal.

Gained from:

#136 Much Ado About Abortion

3. abortions are carried out secretly in shady backstreet clinics

#426 Women in Uniform Under Fire

3. women are ordered home to reproduce for the glory of the @@TYPE@@

#452 Foetal Furore

3. the travel industry is booming as pregnant women book tickets for "weekend trips" overseas

#1142 Womb Service

3. new "Commiserations! It's An Accident!" greetings cards for expectant mothers are selling surprisingly quickly

Removed by:

#183 Buy a Better Baby?

1. wealthy parents-to-be can select their perfect baby

2. wealthy parents-to-be can select their perfect baby

#817 Back-Alley Blues

3. alleyways are now mostly used for illegal drug deals rather than illegal surgical procedures

#1054 Herbal Trouble

3. herbal teas are only consumed by hipsters who want to look marginal

4. nocturnal complaints about noisy neighbours are rising stiffly

3. young people devote their entire lives to the faith

4. young people devote their entire lives to the faith

#1319 Dying for Two

1. women tell their friends they've been on crash diets rather than admit they were pregnant and have had terminations

#1353 The Birds and the Plan Bs

2. foreign leaders suggest the new thirty-two storey abortion centre is overcompensating for something

1. construction of the @@CAPITAL@@ Abortionplex has commenced

2. construction of the @@CAPITAL@@ Abortionplex has commenced

No Adultery

Adultery is prohibited by law.

Gained from:

1. adultery has been made a capital offence

3. people talk about their libido as if it were an STD

Sometimes gained from:

4. there have been reports of people marrying housepets

2. those found guilty of illicit affairs are jailed

1. every conceivable scenic location has been completely booked by couples desperate to marry

3. couples wishing to marry spend months at the circus trying to learn acrobatics

2. @@LEADER@@'s new android secretary is the latest media darling

3. robosexual marriages are increasingly common

3. the church declares that everyone should get a large serving of nuts daily

2. would-be crossers of the class divide find the social ladder is well-lubricated

Removed by:

4. divorce lawyers are found begging on the streets

6. citizens may not "love, honor and obey" anyone except the State

2. motels cater primarily to adulterers

4. once-popular honeymoon destinations have become ghost towns due to a lack of visitors

2. children in school learn that marriage and slavery go hand in hand

2. @@LEADER@@ is in a committed monogamous relationship with a huge number of people

#1419 The Madson-Hashley Scandal

2. end-of-year production reports state that the revolution is really going with a bang

1. business is banging at no-tell motels

No Contraception

Contraception is illegal.

Gained from:

#364 It's UterUs, Not UterYou!

2. churches frequently hold public 'contraception burnings'

#426 Women in Uniform Under Fire

3. women are ordered home to reproduce for the glory of the @@TYPE@@

#168 @@NAME@@ Plagued by STD Epidemic!

2. parents tell their children 'what a lovely mistake you turned out to be'

#1289 Cramping Our Style

3. the standard prescription for infertility-causing conditions is "go have a baby"

4. doctors with dyed hair inform patients via video-link that they must not go against nature

Removed by:

1. the government has undertaken a massive health education program to combat VODAIS

#200 Birds, Bees, and Breeding Teens

1. teenagers are told they're not thinking about sex enough

2. teenagers are told they're not thinking about sex enough

11. former customs officers are adjusting to their new lives as market stall traders

3. a popular saying is "a chicken for every pot and an abortion clinic on every street"

#1023 Pure Madness

3. couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten

4. couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten

4. nocturnal complaints about noisy neighbours are rising stiffly

#1142 Womb Service

1. lifelong celibates are surprised to receive government-issue condoms in the post

2. lifelong celibates are surprised to receive government-issue condoms in the post

#1349 You Must Be 18 Years or Older to View This Content

3. the word "mother" is the favourite punchline of ribald comics

2. kindergartners love the free balloons that their schools give them

3. kindergartners love the free balloons that their schools give them

#1353 The Birds and the Plan Bs

1. construction of the @@CAPITAL@@ Abortionplex has commenced

2. construction of the @@CAPITAL@@ Abortionplex has commenced

No Marriage

Marriage is prohibited.

Gained from:

4. divorce lawyers are found begging on the streets

6. citizens may not "love, honor and obey" anyone except the State

4. once-popular honeymoon destinations have become ghost towns due to a lack of visitors

2. children in school learn that marriage and slavery go hand in hand

2. @@LEADER@@ is in a committed monogamous relationship with a huge number of people

2. end-of-year production reports state that the revolution is really going with a bang

Removed by:

#482 Whose Fault Is It Anyways?

4. there have been reports of people marrying housepets

#165 Wedlock Worries

3. all marriages are arranged by the government

4. mandatory spouse selection pairs elderly apparatchiki with stunningly beautiful supermodels

1. every conceivable scenic location has been completely booked by couples desperate to marry

3. couples wishing to marry spend months at the circus trying to learn acrobatics

2. @@LEADER@@'s new android secretary is the latest media darling

3. robosexual marriages are increasingly common

1. many marriages go virtually unconsummated

3. the government's stance on marriage is 'Let @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ marry themselves'

3. boys who take just one date to the high school prom are called 'losers'

3. the church declares that everyone should get a large serving of nuts daily

1. wedding bands come in pairs to form wedding manacles

#34 Don't Puff on Me, Say Non-Smokers

2. would-be crossers of the class divide find the social ladder is well-lubricated

No Smoking

Smoking is prohibited, even in private.

Gained from:

2. an underground movement of cigarette smokers has sprung up in response to a government ban

#284 Drug Legality Run Amok

4. politicians debate whether caffeine is too addictive for the public

4. the tax department is having withdrawal symptoms

#1210 Big Tobacco in Big Trouble

3. acupuncture is routinely prescribed for intravenous drug addicts

#1125 Blowing Smoke

2. worrywarts have started advocating for a paint ban

4. the tobacco industry has burnt out

3. citizens have to stick a fork into an electrical outlet to get a buzz

Removed by:

1. shops were recently ransacked as cigarettes returned to the shelves

3. zombie-like crowds of hard drug users stumble through the streets

1. peer pressure from cooler world leaders directs @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ government policy

2. @@LEADER@@ lights cigars with a hundred-@@CURRENCY@@ bill

3. there's a lot of smoke from the nation's "green economy"

4. slackers at work are told to "crack on with it"

#246 @@NAME@@ to Hold the Olympic Torch?

4. adverts urge @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ to "reach for a ciggy instead of your supper"

No Sports

Physical contact sports are prohibited.

Gained from:

4. chess hooliganism is on the rise after the banning of organised sports

#415 Brain Pain on the Sports Plain

4. disgruntled jocks are forced to play tetris for entertainment

#707 The Eye of the Tiger

4. many @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ struggle to find outlets for their pent-up competitive juices

#1044 OK Stupid

2. it is quite common for bar patrons to discuss Wittgenstein over cordials and games of backgammon

Removed by:

1. citizens buy season tickets on a 20-year payment plan

2. the Motherland's muscle-bound athletes won 786 medals at the last United @@REGION@@ Games

3. walking to the local pizza parlour earns a lovely sports participation ribbon

4. the nation's athletes must all cross the finish line together while holding hands

#729 Teenage Kicks

3. the nation's weary schoolchildren excel at sport but must count scores on their fingers

4. the nation's weary schoolchildren excel at sport but must count scores on their fingers

1. courses on ornithology and apiology are surprisingly popular

Sometimes removed by:

#547 Fantastic Beasts and How @@NAME@@ Harmed Them

1. the saying 'break a leg' is now taken literally

2. motorbike jousters live young and die fast

3. motorbike jousters live young and die fast

4. the nation is renowned abroad for its love of blood and guts

No Zoos

Animals may not be kept in confinement.

Gained from:

#431 Gone a Stray!

3. animal control is going door-to-door releasing all pets back into the wild

Sometimes gained from:

1. poaching has been on the rise after animals from the nation's zoos were released into the wild

Removed by:

#951 The Wrath of the Fish King

4. the idiom 'there are plenty of fish in the sea' isn't so reassuring to @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@

#1246 Breath of the Wild

1. nobody knows why the caged @@ANIMAL@@ sings

#1424 Here's Looking at Zoo, Kid

1. recapturing giraffes is proving to be a tall order

#1501 Diamond in the Rough

2. endangered bison are herded across the border to prevent them from trampling on native prairie grass

3. endangered bison are herded across the border to prevent them from trampling on native prairie grass

Nudism

Clothing is forbidden.

Gained from:

#823 Where the Sun Don't Shine

4. women find themselves saying "my eyes are up here" more often than they used to

Sometimes gained from:

#8 Nudists Demand Time in Sun

2. public nudity is compulsory

#99 We Need Cash, Sharpish, Say Librarians

3. all writing must pass a censorship board before being allowed on the shelves

2. attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high

#50 Whips, Chains, and Leather, Oh My!

1. obstetricians are not allowed to publish ultrasound pictures of fetuses in medical journals

2. the Snapgram channel "Embarrassing Baby @@LEADER@@ Pics" has made @@LEADER@@'s mom a celebrity

Removed by:

2. leather-clad individuals can be seen walking their slaves in public parks

#295 Give Us Pockets or Give Us Something Else

1. fashion stores are exploding in sales as clothing is reintroduced to the country

3. clothed men and nude women illustrate the stark contrasts in the nation's equality laws

#504 Short Shorts Too Short?

3. stylish juvenile delinquents are highly overrepresented in fatal motorcycle accidents

#501 Munchkins in Makeup

2. a girl's success in life is often linked to her performance in beauty pageants

1. high school boys are required to pass vigorous self-mastery and sensitivity training to graduate

4. the bum of @@LEADER@@ has been voted the most recognisable in @@NAME@@

#820 These Heels Weren't Made for Working

3. young men in tiny bikinis draw neither comment nor stares on the morning commute

1. police officers often head to work wearing onesies and fluffy pink bunny-slippers

#1046 Buffing Up Our Hospitals?

1. interviewees for teaching jobs are waterboarded to "reveal undesirable histories"

4. photographs that show ladies' ankles are considered risqué

1. citizens all over @@NAME@@ squeal in delight at the return of pockets

2. citizens all over @@NAME@@ squeal in delight at the return of pockets

3. people fake illnesses for the chance to wear clothes in hospital

#1057 Baby, It's Cold Outside

1. warm coats are the hottest trend

#1094 A Political Cover-Up

1. foreign ambassadors never get to see what @@NAME@@ has to offer

3. most @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ wear towels as demand for pants outstrips supply

#1268 Don't Sweat It

3. passengers often cause a stink on public transport

#1304 Nothing to See

1. wearing a daisy chain is a fast-track ticket to unemployment

#1425 @@LEADER@@'s New Clothes

3. some magnifier-wielding @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ say @@LEADER@@ seems a little lacking in something

4. some magnifier-wielding @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ say @@LEADER@@ seems a little lacking in something

#1475 Bombshell for @@LEADER@@

2. @@LEADER@@'s support among single young men has drooped slightly

Sometimes removed by:

#99 We Need Cash, Sharpish, Say Librarians

3. all writing must pass a censorship board before being allowed on the shelves

#197 Breastfeeding in Public: Innocent or Indecent?

1. female newsreaders distract the nation by breastfeeding during broadcast

#303 Digital Revolution Requires Re-Evaluation

4. almost all the visible space on TV screens is taken up by advertising

#446 In the Land of Milk and Money?

1. late night adverts for breast milk co-ops regularly win pornography industry awards

3. breast milk lattes are the newest fad among hip urbanites

4. prohibition has allowed a Maxtopian immigrant known only as "Nipples" to establish an illicit breast milk syndicate

#839 "Partisanship Too Far?" Wrongly Asks Opposition

4. street graffiti indicates the political party that dominates a neighborhood

#364 It's UterUs, Not UterYou!

1. obstetricians are not allowed to publish ultrasound pictures of fetuses in medical journals

2. the Snapgram channel "Embarrassing Baby @@LEADER@@ Pics" has made @@LEADER@@'s mom a celebrity

#992 Robots in Disguise

5. visual acuity is worsening amongst teenagers

Parental Licensing

Citizens must acquire a license in order to have children.

Gained from:

#164 Licence to Breed?

1. citizens wishing to be parents must undertake a series of gruelling tests to evaluate their capabilities

3. underground copulation clubs have sprung up in major cities

#448 It Takes a Village

2. parents who fail mandatory parenting classes risk having their children taken away

#499 The Genetics of Aesthetics

2. the newest generation of @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ are nearly clone-like in appearance

#523 A Family Affair

3. government-sanctioned speed mating is rife with Party-sanctioned abuse of power

#1308 One in the Oven

1. the government makes bereaved siblings into bereaved orphans

Removed by:

#300 Trafficked Tots Trouble

3. prospective parents are cheering on the streets as they no longer need a license to have children

#1146 Mother Knows Best?

3. posters encourage people to "Just Do It!"

Permanent Marriage

Divorce is illegal.

Gained from:

#1 Where's the Love Gone?

1. divorce is illegal

#165 Wedlock Worries

3. all marriages are arranged by the government

#236 Quickie Marriages Under Scrutiny

1. adultery has been made a capital offence

3. spousal homicide rates have tripled in recent months

#482 Whose Fault Is It Anyways?

4. mandatory spouse selection pairs elderly apparatchiki with stunningly beautiful supermodels

#1159 The Sad State of Affairs

1. the vow 'til death do us part' is often taken as an invitation to murder

2. the vow 'til death do us part' is often taken as an invitation to murder

#1459 Friends With Tax Benefits

1. wedding bands come in pairs to form wedding manacles

2. tax avoidance is a serious affair

Sometimes gained from:

2. the institution of marriage is held sacred and strictly enforced

3. the institution of marriage is held sacred and strictly enforced

4. there have been reports of people marrying housepets

1. every conceivable scenic location has been completely booked by couples desperate to marry

3. couples wishing to marry spend months at the circus trying to learn acrobatics

2. @@LEADER@@'s new android secretary is the latest media darling

3. robosexual marriages are increasingly common

1. many marriages go virtually unconsummated

3. the church declares that everyone should get a large serving of nuts daily

2. would-be crossers of the class divide find the social ladder is well-lubricated

Removed by:

4. @@NAME@@ is notorious for its citizens' infidelity

4. divorce lawyers are found begging on the streets

6. citizens may not "love, honor and obey" anyone except the State

#482 Whose Fault Is It Anyways?

4. once-popular honeymoon destinations have become ghost towns due to a lack of visitors

1. acrimonious legal battles result during divorce proceedings

2. children in school learn that marriage and slavery go hand in hand

2. @@LEADER@@ is in a committed monogamous relationship with a huge number of people

2. end-of-year production reports state that the revolution is really going with a bang

Sometimes removed by:

1. every conceivable scenic location has been completely booked by couples desperate to marry

Polygamy

Citizens may have multiple spouses.

Gained from:

1. polygamy is legal

4. there have been reports of people marrying housepets

#165 Wedlock Worries

3. all marriages are arranged by the government

Sometimes gained from:

1. every conceivable scenic location has been completely booked by couples desperate to marry

3. couples wishing to marry spend months at the circus trying to learn acrobatics

2. @@LEADER@@'s new android secretary is the latest media darling

3. robosexual marriages are increasingly common

3. the church declares that everyone should get a large serving of nuts daily

Removed by:

4. divorce lawyers are found begging on the streets

6. citizens may not "love, honor and obey" anyone except the State

#336 Polygamy Causes Division

4. once-popular honeymoon destinations have become ghost towns due to a lack of visitors

2. a flood of mandatory divorces burden the courts

2. children in school learn that marriage and slavery go hand in hand

1. former polygamists always seem to have a huge number of visiting cousins

2. @@LEADER@@ is in a committed monogamous relationship with a huge number of people

#1159 The Sad State of Affairs

2. end-of-year production reports state that the revolution is really going with a bang

3. former first wives now find themselves mothers to twenty children

#50 Whips, Chains, and Leather, Oh My!

1. wedding bands come in pairs to form wedding manacles

Prudism

Strict modesty laws govern how citizens may dress.

Gained from:

Sometimes gained from:

2. leather-clad individuals can be seen walking their slaves in public parks

3. midnight raids drag couples from their homes in the name of decency

#51 Streaker in Snooker Game Fiasco

1. naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure

#52 Is It Art or Is It Porn?

1. artists regularly face criminal charges and art-burning parties are common

2. all artwork is carefully screened for offensive material

3. nude art is becoming wildly popular

#99 We Need Cash, Sharpish, Say Librarians

3. all writing must pass a censorship board before being allowed on the shelves

#101 Tiara Sign of Oppression, Declare Feminists

2. women who display their ankles are shunned by society

3. women who display their ankles are shunned by society

#121 A Uniform Plan for @@NAME@@'s Students?

1. school uniforms are compulsory

2. students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas

#197 Breastfeeding in Public: Innocent or Indecent?

1. female newsreaders distract the nation by breastfeeding during broadcast

2. nursing mothers are often arrested for indecent exposure

3. breastfeeding mothers are replacing smokers to loiter outside the workplace

#303 Digital Revolution Requires Re-Evaluation

4. almost all the visible space on TV screens is taken up by advertising

#446 In the Land of Milk and Money?

1. late night adverts for breast milk co-ops regularly win pornography industry awards

3. breast milk lattes are the newest fad among hip urbanites

4. prohibition has allowed a Maxtopian immigrant known only as "Nipples" to establish an illicit breast milk syndicate

#489 Standing at Attention

1. biker gangs and fashionistas are converting to Violetism en masse

2. biker gangs and fashionistas are converting to the Tranquility of Yellow en masse

3. stylish juvenile delinquents are highly overrepresented in fatal motorcycle accidents

4. motorcycle riders are required to wear so much gear they've been nicknamed "Stay Pufts"

5. hairdressers are forced to use all the tricks of the trade after citizens became required to wear helmets at all times

6. hairdressers are forced to use all the tricks of the trade after citizens became required to wear helmets at all times

2. good-looking soldier boys have celebrity status amongst the nation's homosexuals

3. the army spends more time producing 'romantic videos' than actually training soldiers

5. people find it hard to relate to soldiers because of the dehumanising masks they wear

#501 Munchkins in Makeup

1. school plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment

2. a girl's success in life is often linked to her performance in beauty pageants

#504 Short Shorts Too Short?

2. teenage girls in knee-length surfer shorts have become a cultural icon of @@NAME@@

3. @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ schoolgirl uniforms have become alarmingly popular outside @@NAME@@

#511 Dogman Deconstructed

1. trick-or-treaters and circus clowns have been arrested under suspicion of being renegade vigilantes

#516 Sex Education Too Sexy, Say Parents

3. Thomas the Spank Engine is the most popular and controversial children's show in the nation

#538 @@LEADER@@, Let Your People Go!

3. debates on whether toilet seats should be left up or down are increasingly commonplace

1. weird or unusual crimes merit cruel and unusual punishments

2. weird or unusual crimes merit cruel and unusual punishments

3. tourists visit @@NAME@@ to mass-moon @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ politicians

4. the bum of @@LEADER@@ has been voted the most recognisable in @@NAME@@

1. top-shelf magazines feature risqué centrefold spreads of ladies' wrists

4. fathers are free to sell their daughters to whomever they choose

#613 A Nude Day, a Nude Awakening...

1. @@LEADER@@'s peyote-induced "let's all just be friends" speech is trending world-wide

1. fashion magazine covers finally display realistic body images following photo-manipulation becoming illegal

3. t-shirts displaying a photo of @@LEADER@@ performing the Full-Monty are selling out

#622 Easter Egg: A Holiday Masquerade

7. a drunk fashion designer has started a fashion label themed on nudity and titled "@@LEADER@@'s New Clothes" (@@EGG@@)

#632 Dying for a Kiss

3. men's magazines give handy tips on the most effective way to throw heavy stones

#801 Animation Provocation

4. the realistic depiction of tentacles is on the core syllabus of most art schools

#820 These Heels Weren't Made for Working

4. visitors to Violet Rock City are stunned to learn that they must memorize the "99 Principles" before entering

1. police officers often head to work wearing onesies and fluffy pink bunny-slippers

2. a stocking with a crooked seam or a tie without a full Windsor knot are grounds for instant dismissal

3. ruff times are ahead for those who aren't keen on party costumes

#839 "Partisanship Too Far?" Wrongly Asks Opposition

4. street graffiti indicates the political party that dominates a neighborhood

#841 Burn Noticed

4. women should never trust a man who turns up to a first date with an open bottle in his hand

1. interviewees for teaching jobs are waterboarded to "reveal undesirable histories"

2. attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high

3. schoolchildren learn an R-rated version of "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes"

4. photographs that show ladies' ankles are considered risqué

1. obstetricians are not allowed to publish ultrasound pictures of fetuses in medical journals

2. the Snapgram channel "Embarrassing Baby @@LEADER@@ Pics" has made @@LEADER@@'s mom a celebrity

#992 Robots in Disguise

5. visual acuity is worsening amongst teenagers

#1135 My Eyes Are Up Here

3. teen boys and girls find stick-figure-aided lectures on their comradestruation emphasises socialist unity more than biology

5. catcalling has been replaced by slut-shaming

#1238 No Shoes, No Service

2. signs saying "No Poor People or Weirdoes" are common outside shops and cafés

3. shaking a stone out of your shoe is considered to be dangerously risqué

#1372 Balls to All That

4. shirts-versus-skins games are now skins-versus-skins games

#1425 @@LEADER@@'s New Clothes

3. some magnifier-wielding @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ say @@LEADER@@ seems a little lacking in something

4. some magnifier-wielding @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ say @@LEADER@@ seems a little lacking in something

#1475 Bombshell for @@LEADER@@

2. @@LEADER@@'s support among single young men has drooped slightly

Removed by:

#8 Nudists Demand Time in Sun

1. citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked

2. public nudity is compulsory

#50 Whips, Chains, and Leather, Oh My!

2. leather-clad individuals can be seen walking their slaves in public parks

#51 Streaker in Snooker Game Fiasco

2. streakers swamp all public events in order to bare it all

#329 Military Uniforms Under Scrutiny

1. soldiers with colourful mohawks make themselves perfect targets for snipers

6. shock troops shock enemy forces with their nudity

#504 Short Shorts Too Short?

1. high school boys are required to pass vigorous self-mastery and sensitivity training to graduate

4. young girls and senior citizens alike can be spotted wearing colourful short shorts

#823 Where the Sun Don't Shine

2. teenage girls worry that they'll be unpopular if their skirts aren't short enough

3. young men in tiny bikinis draw neither comment nor stares on the morning commute

4. women find themselves saying "my eyes are up here" more often than they used to

#1200 Choose Your God Wisely

4. escalators are avoided at all costs

7. the distracting décor lining the roads causes multiple pile-ups

#1425 @@LEADER@@'s New Clothes

3. some magnifier-wielding @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ say @@LEADER@@ seems a little lacking in something

4. some magnifier-wielding @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ say @@LEADER@@ seems a little lacking in something

Sometimes removed by:

#52 Is It Art or Is It Porn?

3. nude art is becoming wildly popular

#121 A Uniform Plan for @@NAME@@'s Students?

2. students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas

#197 Breastfeeding in Public: Innocent or Indecent?

1. female newsreaders distract the nation by breastfeeding during broadcast

#446 In the Land of Milk and Money?

1. late night adverts for breast milk co-ops regularly win pornography industry awards

3. breast milk lattes are the newest fad among hip urbanites

#489 Standing at Attention

3. stylish juvenile delinquents are highly overrepresented in fatal motorcycle accidents

2. good-looking soldier boys have celebrity status amongst the nation's homosexuals

3. the army spends more time producing 'romantic videos' than actually training soldiers

#501 Munchkins in Makeup

2. a girl's success in life is often linked to her performance in beauty pageants

#516 Sex Education Too Sexy, Say Parents

3. Thomas the Spank Engine is the most popular and controversial children's show in the nation

#538 @@LEADER@@, Let Your People Go!

3. debates on whether toilet seats should be left up or down are increasingly commonplace

3. tourists visit @@NAME@@ to mass-moon @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ politicians

4. the bum of @@LEADER@@ has been voted the most recognisable in @@NAME@@

#613 A Nude Day, a Nude Awakening...

1. @@LEADER@@'s peyote-induced "let's all just be friends" speech is trending world-wide

3. t-shirts displaying a photo of @@LEADER@@ performing the Full-Monty are selling out

#622 Easter Egg: A Holiday Masquerade

7. a drunk fashion designer has started a fashion label themed on nudity and titled "@@LEADER@@'s New Clothes" (@@EGG@@)

#801 Animation Provocation

4. the realistic depiction of tentacles is on the core syllabus of most art schools

#820 These Heels Weren't Made for Working

4. visitors to Violet Rock City are stunned to learn that they must memorize the "99 Principles" before entering

1. police officers often head to work wearing onesies and fluffy pink bunny-slippers

#917 School's In, Cash Is Out!

4. kindergartens are full of kids dressed as superheroes and princesses

2. attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high

3. schoolchildren learn an R-rated version of "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes"

#168 @@NAME@@ Plagued by STD Epidemic!

2. the Snapgram channel "Embarrassing Baby @@LEADER@@ Pics" has made @@LEADER@@'s mom a celebrity

#992 Robots in Disguise

5. visual acuity is worsening amongst teenagers

#1372 Balls to All That

4. shirts-versus-skins games are now skins-versus-skins games

Sex Education

School-age children receive mandatory sex education.

Gained from:

Sometimes gained from:

1. the government has undertaken a massive health education program to combat VODAIS

#200 Birds, Bees, and Breeding Teens

1. teenagers are told they're not thinking about sex enough

2. teenagers are told they're not thinking about sex enough

#279 A Vat Lot of Trouble

3. 'Let's Get It On' has jumped to #1 on the billboard charts

4. 'Let's Get It On' has jumped to #1 on the billboard charts

#358 Not Another Teen Pregnancy

6. getting an abortion takes less hassle than writing a letter

#383 Born to Be Just a Bit Too Wild?

1. children are shocked to find others "just like them" when they are taken out of the forest

2. soldiers are noted for their ferocity and illiteracy

6. relationship guidance consists of "lie back and think of @@NAME@@"

2. religious leaders insist all life is sacred (but not those vat-bred wretches)

3. growing infants in a vat is an antiquated concept

#1349 You Must Be 18 Years or Older to View This Content

6. therapists advise women who are constantly stressed and tired to have another baby

2. kindergartners love the free balloons that their schools give them

3. kindergartners love the free balloons that their schools give them

Removed by:

#123 Now, Vat's Food for Thought

6. citizens are grown in vats

#358 Not Another Teen Pregnancy

4. the youth of today are literally shaped by big business

#374 Lion Dad Sparks Child-Rearing Sentiment

4. society has literally been thrown to the wolves

#516 Sex Education Too Sexy, Say Parents

5. new vat-grown soldiers are as replaceable as bullets

1. young adults still believe that @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ deliver newborns to expecting parents

#840 Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

3. honeymoon suites can be located by following newlywed couples' shrieks of "what's that?"

4. ratings for schools' curricula range from 'Pure as the Driven Snow' to 'Late Night TV'

#123 Now, Vat's Food for Thought

3. the love has gone in @@NAME@@

#1418 The High Life

3. stray dogs and children root through the trash for snacks

Vat-Produced Infants

Biological reproduction is prohibited.

Gained from:

6. citizens are grown in vats

#358 Not Another Teen Pregnancy

4. the youth of today are literally shaped by big business

5. the youth of today are literally shaped by state ideology

5. new vat-grown soldiers are as replaceable as bullets

#279 A Vat Lot of Trouble

3. the love has gone in @@NAME@@

Removed by:

3. 'Let's Get It On' has jumped to #1 on the billboard charts

4. 'Let's Get It On' has jumped to #1 on the billboard charts

6. relationship guidance consists of "lie back and think of @@NAME@@"

2. religious leaders insist all life is sacred (but not those vat-bred wretches)

3. growing infants in a vat is an antiquated concept

6. therapists advise women who are constantly stressed and tired to have another baby

Vegetarianism

Vegetarianism is compulsory.

Gained from:

3. vegetarianism is compulsory

#350 Queasy Cuisine

6. the food pyramid has been replaced with the word PASTA in bold block capital letters

#367 What's Their Beef?

3. unemployed butchers line the streets

4. pizza parlors have been replaced by lima bean cafes

#825 Bugging Out on Beef

5. finding half a worm in your apple is an arrestable offense

6. finding half a worm in your apple is an arrestable offense

#205 No More Broccoli, Beg Meat-Eaters

4. proletariat workers identify less with the hammer and sickle and more with the touchscreen and phone charger

#1474 Cuy Bono?

3. delicate flowers faint at news of house plants being eaten

Removed by:

1. abattoirs are running at full capacity in response to skyrocketing demand

3. the consumption of vegetables is illegal

#1213 The War of Man and Beast

11. former customs officers are adjusting to their new lives as market stall traders

4. the nation's iron imports are booming

#1436 Meat Meet

3. the legalization of meat has skewered the sales of vegetarian substitutes

Law & Order

Capital Punishment

Citizens may be executed for crimes.

Gained from:

#11 People Request Not So Much Dictatorship, if That's All Right

1. political activists are routinely executed

#44 No Pain, No Gain!

3. people regularly disappear off the streets and all evidence of them is destroyed

#46 Jennifer Government Censorship Row

1. Jennifer Government is banned

#56 "Give Us Money!" Quoth the Poet

3. poets and writers are regularly rounded up and shot for entertainment

#58 Violent Violetists Demand Blood!

3. a crusade against barbaric religious practices has begun

#59 Drunk Driving on the Rise

2. drunk drivers are sentenced to death

1. citizens who fail to follow the official national religion are executed

2. citizens who fail to follow the official national religion are executed

2. citizens are regularly shot for parking on the double-yellow line

3. protesters against the government are hanged as a warning to others

#159 Think Tank Proposes Privatised Prisons

4. all weapon research has been banned

3. criminals are executed and their property seized

1. adultery has been made a capital offence

1. government-sponsored gallows are being erected by Violetist temples

#218 Two Mommies One Too Many?

3. the police force is rumoured to be made up of evil shadows with no souls

3. homosexuality is a crime punishable by death

#219 Nobody Expects the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Inquisition!

3. atheists and evolutionary biologists are fleeing the country like rats from a sinking ship

#229 Government Saturated in Corruption

3. citizens who refuse to vote are guillotined

1. politicians accepting drinks in bars are executed for taking bribes

#237 Tourists on Death Row

3. drug-related crimes carry the death penalty

3. criminals are thrown to the @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to repay their debt to society

#251 The Trouble With Hobos

4. open-heart surgery is taught in seminaries

4. citizens who become homeless are immediately executed

#299 Some Like It Hot; Others Don't

4. the state has declared war on the environment and environmentalists by association

#313 Conscientious Objectors Want You... To Let Them Abstain

2. conscientious objectors are hanged as traitors

#347 Crime Problems Ganging Up on @@NAME@@

3. bloodthirsty zealots regularly participate in the Friday Night Stoning of Adulterers

1. rap artists are regularly arrested for promoting extremist groups

#351 The Cost of Freedom

3. violent criminals are doomed to be hunted by a psychotic billionaire

#372 The Coming of the Commissars

5. failure to pay the thrice-daily homage to the divine @@LEADER@@ is punishable by death

4. police wait behind troop deployments in order to shoot deserters

#451 A Proselyte to Burn

2. the nation's new religious police burn blasphemers on bonfires of their own books

#475 Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

4. a wide-ranging purge of leading officials and family members is being carried out by @@LEADER@@

3. firing squads regularly execute dissidents

#496 Rock 'n' Roll Suicide

2. attempted suicide is punishable by public hanging

#536 Any Witch Way Spells Disaster

1. rural citizens live in terror of their local village constable

#533 Hearsay Heresy

3. the strong are acquitted and the weak are trampled in trial by @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@

1. women who can do math in their head are burned for witchcraft

2. bands of adventurers rove the countryside searching for monsters

1. hundreds of teenagers die every year at the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Hungry Games

#571 Family Feud

2. entire families swing in the wind at the national gallows

#611 Blundering Battle Bureaucrats

3. burning members of the Order of Violet is the nation's favorite pastime

#604 Food Behind Bars

5. corrective labour camps either end political dissent or kill the dissenters

2. heavily-armed commandos play rock-paper-scissors over whether to execute criminals and foreign visitors

#695 How to Succeed in Business Without Really Paying Taxes

8. policemen want to put the nation's homosexuals up against a wall

#658 A Sickening Dilemma

2. sneezing in public is a capital offense

3. anyone claiming to be a messiah is promptly put to death

#703 Divine Decoration

4. the hills are alive with the smell of burning flesh

#710 Feudal Feuds

1. a serf by any other name works just as hard

#746 [The Enemy Within] There's a Place

2. an eye for an eye leaves @@NAME@@ blind

5. nobody dares to so much as wear violet-coloured clothing in public

#794 [@@CAPITAL@@gate] Fear and Loathing in @@CAPITAL@@

1. citizens patriotically sing the government's praises while glancing nervously over their shoulder

#795 [@@CAPITAL@@gate] Lock Him Up!

1. critics of @@LEADER@@ literally can't find their head on their shoulders

#799 A Political Cock-Up

2. unpopular politicians are often caught between a rock and a hard place

#817 Back-Alley Blues

4. women who miscarry have their death-masks displayed in the Wax Museum's "Sociopaths and Serial Killers Exhibit"

5. women who miscarry have their death-masks displayed in the Wax Museum's "Sociopaths and Serial Killers Exhibit"

#870 @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ Literally Exploding With Excitement

3. the government is encouraging violence on television

#898 Two's Company, Three's a Crowd, Four's an Uprising

3. slavers view "what did your last slave die of" as a request for a demonstration

2. the practice of capital punishment proves divisive

#919 The Meaning of Life

2. prison overcrowding is being addressed with a series of short sharp shocks

2. the military conducts 'training exercises' in prisons

3. the military conducts 'training exercises' in prisons

#986 Poacher Pandemic

4. environmentalists have found an unusual ally in soldiers of fortune

#1053 Some Enchanted Evening That Was

1. you can say what you like about the genocidal murderers that rule @@NAME@@ but at least the trains run on time

4. there is no such thing as an innocent fling in the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ military

#1162 She's Always a Woman to Me

2. it is written that heretics die and @@LEADER@@ laughs

#1150 Back Lash Backlash

3. extraordinary rendition is nothing out of the ordinary

2. taking a walk on the wild side is punishable by death

3. taking a walk on the wild side is punishable by death

#1263 Is the Signature Always Right?

5. the government prevents violence by committing genocide

#1222 Family Matters

3. police nightsticks see use all day long

3. people who make the leader's blood boil get boiled

4. people who make the leader's blood boil get boiled

#1274 No Room Left for Asylum Seekers

3. the nation is a world leader in martyrs per capita

#1512 The Door's Unlocked, Let Yourself In...

1. children are encouraged to fail at school so as not to appear too enlightened

#1308 One in the Oven

1. the government makes bereaved siblings into bereaved orphans

3. Lady Justice has swapped her blindfold for steel-capped boots

Sometimes gained from:

#311 Victims Demand Their Pound of Flesh

1. the death penalty has been reintroduced

Removed by:

3. condemned prisoners spend hours a day sitting in lotus position looking perplexed

#318 Death Penalty on Death Row?

1. prisoners work-share to cut down rising costs of keeping them in jail

#631 The Violet Mile

7. international humanitarian organisations are applauding the government for ending the death penalty

#806 Unlicensed to Kill

3. under doctor's orders @@LEADER@@ is going on a diet and abolishing capital punishment

#828 Your Execution in 30 Years or Less or You're Free

5. the Violet Mile now refers to the long line-ups that former death row inmates wait in as they transfer to maximum security prisons

#835 The End Is in Sight?

4. the nation's apology for those it has executed in the last year has come a little late for some

#1241 Return Statement

4. lobotomised jaywalkers can barely ambulate let alone repeat their offences

#1332 We Won't, We Won't Rock You

4. an opal a day keeps the negative thoughts at bay

Conscription

A period of military service is compulsory for all citizens.

Gained from:

#109 Karate Kids Cause Controversy

2. the army's shirt ninja are the most feared assassins in the region

#157 Sergeants Are Too Nasty, Say New Recruits

5. military service is compulsory

4. newborns are being raised as mindless killing machines

#383 Born to Be Just a Bit Too Wild?

2. soldiers are noted for their ferocity and illiteracy

#426 Women in Uniform Under Fire

3. women are ordered home to reproduce for the glory of the @@TYPE@@

#485 Really Real eSports Tournament

4. all gamers have been drafted into the military despite their lack of upper body strength

#489 Standing at Attention

1. confused drunks wake up to irate drill sergeants whipping them into shape

5. new vat-grown soldiers are as replaceable as bullets

4. handsome young men are forced into uniforms by their dominant elders

#638 Won't Somebody Think of the Children?

2. the nation's orphanages and maternity wards have been nicknamed 'the Killbot Factories'

#660 Are We Being Served?

1. retail staff are trained to take both inside leg measurements and the lives of their enemies

#931 In the Navy

3. military promises of adventure don't live up to the brochure for unwilling conscripts

#964 An Expensive Watch

4. army regiments supporting different football teams are a frequent cause of friendly fire incidents

#1073 Much Ado About Everything

1. young soldiers are shocked to discover there are no 'safe spaces' on a battlefield

2. young soldiers are shocked to discover there are no 'safe spaces' on a battlefield

#184 Compulsory Military Service Under Attack

4. the army's trophy cabinets have gone all-organic

Removed by:

1. the military struggles with recruitment

#956 The Bottom of the Gun Barrel

5. the nation is constantly threatened with invasion but at least homosexuality in the military isn't a problem

6. the nation is constantly threatened with invasion but at least homosexuality in the military isn't a problem

#810 Armed and Unready

5. nobody is forced to join the armed forces

2. unemployed youngsters trained to kill are being released en masse into society

Sometimes removed by:

#366 Prosecute Stolen Valour, Says Military

3. soldiers have swapped their uniforms for prisonwear

4. soldiers have swapped their uniforms for prisonwear

Corporal Punishment

Criminals may be ordered to undergo physical punishment.

Gained from:

#15 More Police Needed

3. thieves are flogged in public for their crimes

#75 Cutting Off Sex Offenders?

1. sex offenders find themselves cut off from the ability to repeat their crimes

#219 Nobody Expects the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Inquisition!

3. people caught mistreating @@NAME@@'s flag generally wind up in a great deal of pain

3. atheists and evolutionary biologists are fleeing the country like rats from a sinking ship

#381 Mamma @@NAME@@, Let Me Go

3. churches now double as dungeons

1. rural citizens live in terror of their local village constable

1. hundreds of teenagers die every year at the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Hungry Games

#646 Lesson Learnt

2. prison libraries are being replaced with interrogation chambers

#898 Two's Company, Three's a Crowd, Four's an Uprising

2. an eye for an eye leaves @@NAME@@ blind

#799 A Political Cock-Up

2. unpopular politicians are often caught between a rock and a hard place

#841 Burn Noticed

1. the Man in the Plastic Mask has been imprisoned in the Capital Penitentiary

3. slavers view "what did your last slave die of" as a request for a demonstration

#940 The Court of the Crimson Lord

2. screams of citizens being "re-educated" echo throughout the rural regions of @@NAME@@

#1270 I'll Be Watching You

5. the nation is now officially a purple state

#978 Alone in the Dark

3. justice is blinding

#1025 A Meal to Die For

3. decreased demand for toilets is saving the prison service a lot of money

#1132 Gold Standards

3. sprinters achieve their personal bests only when the Olympic Team recruiters come calling

#1222 Family Matters

3. police nightsticks see use all day long

3. baseball caps are the new fashion trend

4. baseball caps are the new fashion trend

#1512 The Door's Unlocked, Let Yourself In...

3. Lady Justice has swapped her blindfold for steel-capped boots

Sometimes gained from:

1. weird or unusual crimes merit cruel and unusual punishments

2. weird or unusual crimes merit cruel and unusual punishments

#494 Whipping Up a Controversy

2. sailors spend their shore leave helping old ladies cross the street

Removed by:

1. whipping posts and lashes have been transferred to the Historical Museum of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Embarrassments

Curfew

The nation enforces a national curfew.

Gained from:

#381 Mamma @@NAME@@, Let Me Go

2. tantrum-throwing toddlers are regularly imprisoned on assault charges

Sometimes gained from:

#77 Easter Egg: World to End, or Possibly Just Mark Anniversary

2. martial law has been declared and the populace is kept under tight control

1. tens of thousands of revelers have been arrested for trying to celebrate the recent world anniversary (@@EGG@@)

#155 Curfew Meets Minor Opposition

1. teenagers are severely punished for being out too late

#347 Crime Problems Ganging Up on @@NAME@@

1. rap artists are regularly arrested for promoting extremist groups

#383 Born to Be Just a Bit Too Wild?

1. children are shocked to find others "just like them" when they are taken out of the forest

2. soldiers are noted for their ferocity and illiteracy

#455 Police on Overkill Mode?

4. the nation is under martial law

#740 [The Enemy Within] A Day in the Life

3. the nation has been sent to bed early for unspecified naughtiness

Removed by:

#270 Space Spectacular Sours Small Stargazers

1. teenagers stay out into the wee hours of the morning "stargazing"

#374 Lion Dad Sparks Child-Rearing Sentiment

4. society has literally been thrown to the wolves

#1418 The High Life

3. stray dogs and children root through the trash for snacks

DNA Harvesting Citizen DNA must be submitted to the state.
Gained from: #212 Police Wanting Help With Their Inquiries 3. every citizen must submit to DNA testing to be eliminated from police inquiries	Removed by: #499 The Genetics of Aesthetics 3. the police are reluctantly destroying millions of DNA records #666 A Microchip on Your Shoulder 3. truancy levels are on the rise ever since school registers were banned

Gun Control

Citizens are forbidden from owning firearms.

Gained from:

#20 Gunman Kills Three

1. kids are arrested at gunpoint for playing with toy rifles

3. the streets are plagued with knife-wielding madmen

#158 Regarding Robbers' Rights

2. the arms industry has been shut down in a surge of pacifism

3. trespassers often find themselves impaled by crossbow bolts

#488 Bright Orange Is the New Black

3. knitting needles have been banned in the name of public safety

1. gun regulations are so strict even staple guns and hot glue guns are illegal

2. gun regulations are so strict even staple guns and hot glue guns are illegal

#629 Boom or Bust?

1. the police have taken to prying guns out of the cold fingers of @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@

#698 I Shot the Sheriff

4. only criminals carry guns

#933 A Gun in Every Hand and a Tank in Every Garage?

3. former gun owners are finding that brandishing paintball guns isn't as satisfying as the real thing

#1235 Good Guy With a Gun

4. it turns out that the government can have your guns by prying them out of your warm living hands

#1363 In My Defence

4. staple guns are seen as intrinsically evil

Sometimes gained from:

#20 Gunman Kills Three

2. the nation is completely gun-free

Removed by:

#133 When @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ Attack!

3. ad hoc militias patrol the streets in an effort to control rampant crime

4. @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ are frequently shot for looking at people 'in a funny way'

#149 With Liberty, Freedom, and Guns for All?

1. the arms industry is backed by government subsidies and harsh anti-protest laws are in place

1. @@NAME@@ is renowned for its lax gun laws

#169 @@ANIMAL@@ Hunting Laws Under Dispute

3. main battle tanks stalk the woods of @@NAME@@ in search of @@ANIMALPLURAL@@

#186 Carjacking Concerns

2. citizens drive tank-like vehicles with mounted machine guns

3. citizens drive tank-like vehicles with mounted machine guns

4. farmers' market days almost always end in a shooting

11. former customs officers are adjusting to their new lives as market stall traders

#802 No Lock, No Gun Stock, and No Smoking Barrels

1. squeaky high prepubescent voices recite the patriotic poem "Hail to The Leader!" before each meal

3. banned objects are regularly legalized if they've been successfully stolen from the government

#850 The Prints and the Slaughter

2. mass shootings have become the new normal

#877 Gunning for Profits

3. road rage is rarer but more terminal now that many people drive fully-operational battle tanks to work

#902 Killer App

4. career advisors ask sociopathic orphan girls if they have considered becoming professional assassins

5. the state conscripts sociopathic orphan girls to train as professional assassins

#1098 Edged Out

4. people wouldn't be seen dead without their guns

#1170 To Catch a Beef

1. hand-to-hand combat experience is udderly essential for all dairy ranchers

2. hand-to-hand combat experience is udderly essential for all dairy ranchers

Sometimes removed by:

#515 Little Green Men

2. entire provinces are being suppressed for collectively "planning terrorist attacks"

Gun Ownership

All citizens are required to own a firearm.

Gained from:

1. gun ownership is compulsory

Sometimes gained from:

#1449 Annie Get Your Gun

1. metal detectors at school gates make sure that teenagers are carrying at least one sidearm

Removed by:

#20 Gunman Kills Three

1. kids are arrested at gunpoint for playing with toy rifles

2. the nation is completely gun-free

3. the streets are plagued with knife-wielding madmen

#149 With Liberty, Freedom, and Guns for All?

1. the arms industry is backed by government subsidies and harsh anti-protest laws are in place

2. citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons

#158 Regarding Robbers' Rights

3. trespassers often find themselves impaled by crossbow bolts

#488 Bright Orange Is the New Black

3. knitting needles have been banned in the name of public safety

1. gun regulations are so strict even staple guns and hot glue guns are illegal

2. gun regulations are so strict even staple guns and hot glue guns are illegal

#802 No Lock, No Gun Stock, and No Smoking Barrels

4. wars are filled with soldiers wielding machetes and chainsaws for safety reasons

#989 Gunman Wounds Three

1. gun-wielding gangsters sometimes deal death from as far as ten paces away

2. children cry as government officials steal their water pistols

#1363 In My Defence

4. staple guns are seen as intrinsically evil

#1449 Annie Get Your Gun

4. it's no longer mandatory for armless amputees to own ironic side-arms

Human Sacrifice

Religious sacrifice of human beings is legal.

Gained from:

#619 X Marks the Cult?

1. livestock mutilations are on the rise

#1538 The Passion of Chris

1. crimson and Violet seem to run together

2. children prepare for "Sacrifest" by dyeing eggs with which to pelt the dying

Sometimes gained from:

#58 Violent Violetists Demand Blood!

1. homeless people are periodically found dead upon altars to assorted deities

2. "The Daily Sacrifice" is a routine segment of morning news shows

1. citizens who fail to follow the official national religion are executed

2. citizens who fail to follow the official national religion are executed

3. biology and religious education classes have recently been merged

4. open-heart surgery is taught in seminaries

#781 The White Man's Burden

3. burning members of the Order of Violet is the nation's favorite pastime

4. political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions

#631 The Violet Mile

3. voodoo economists believe that feeding criminals to volcanoes will bring untold riches to @@NAME@@

3. people spend a lot on hair and nails

4. people spend a lot on hair and nails

2. children wondering what happens to pets after they die are shown where the compost heap is

3. folk are absolutely certain that you can never be absolutely certain

1. a formerly quiet little town is now booming as both a cult centre and a tourist attraction

3. @@LEADER@@ claims to know what infants are thinking

3. the church declares that everyone should get a large serving of nuts daily

#1186 The Magic's Gone

5. the government is telling wizards to put their heart into their work

#1198 The Death Debate Isn't Dead Yet

1. burning yourself alive is not okay but starving and whipping yourself is fine

2. burning yourself alive is not okay but starving and whipping yourself is fine

2. there's never a spare chair in the retirement home

#1204 Homecoming Queen

1. the Violetist community celebrates bombshells being dropped on @@NAME@@

#1274 No Room Left for Asylum Seekers

4. a plague of zealots has been unleashed on the streets of @@CAPITAL@@

#1468 Meat With Approval

1. the traditional Violetist dish of stuffed sheep's head is served with an intense look of shock upon its face

Removed by:

4. religious people are committed to mental institutions for treatment

5. people of faith are sent to twelve-step programs for 'The Cure'

#939 A Question of Bad Faith

1. churches across the land are hurriedly installing auto-tune for their choirs

2. churches across the land are hurriedly installing auto-tune for their choirs

4. children who express a belief in Santa are labelled 'delusional cultists'

1. you can say what you like about the genocidal murderers that rule @@NAME@@ but at least the trains run on time

6. uprooting flowers for religious ceremonies is a felony

#298 Cults: Harmless or Heretics?

3. government has seized the opium of the people

Sometimes removed by:

4. believers must practice religion behind church doors lest the government smite them with a mighty fine

6. any reference to a higher being is punished with public shaming

#341 Where in the Woods Is Cindy SanFrancisco?

5. children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia

6. children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia

ID Chips

Citizens are administered an under-the-skin ID chip.

Gained from:

3. fearful citizens watch their every move as does their government

4. fearful citizens watch their every move as does their government

Sometimes gained from:

#666 A Microchip on Your Shoulder

1. nerds everywhere are rejoicing as they are reunited with their computers

3. computers are allowed but only just

1. the masses are surrendering their civil liberties without complaint for the sake of shopping convenience

4. anti-government demagogues have a devil of a time evading authorities

5. anti-government demagogues have a devil of a time evading authorities

2. carpal tunnel syndrome is on the rise

5. email killed the radio star

6. email killed the radio star

3. private records are being put online with a convenient "download" button

Removed by:

3. citizens frequently whisper of the Internet as 'the domain of the devil'

4. the recent ban on computers is causing havoc throughout the nation

#193 Robots Leaving Workers Jobless

3. computers have been banned

4. the loom represents the height of @@NAME@@'s technology

3. the government is rounding up computers and beating them into plowshares

3. computers are widely considered to be the "devil magic of heathens"

4. the nation has reverted back to an agrarian society after anything more advanced than the wheel was banned

#870 @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ Literally Exploding With Excitement

2. meetings are often scheduled for "about four-ish" following complete conversion to sundials

2. @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ have recently stopped mysteriously setting off metal detectors

5. the nation has become both the largest producer and consumer of abaci in @@REGION@@

No Judiciary

The nation has abolished the court system.

Gained from:

#240 Plea Bargains: Tipping the Scales of Justice?

2. citizens are regularly shot for parking on the double-yellow line

3. the right to a fair trial was recently abolished for reasons of convenience

#253 How Much Democracy Is Too Much?

2. all judiciary cases are decided in the court of public opinion

#533 Hearsay Heresy

3. the strong are acquitted and the weak are trampled in trial by @@A@@ @@ANIMAL@@

2. an eye for an eye leaves @@NAME@@ blind

#43 Prisoners Demand Elbow Room

3. unemployed judges can be found squatting in abandoned courthouses

#987 Quia Scriptum Est

3. the government says only criminals harp on about "innocent until proven guilty"

Removed by:

#603 Not My Idea

4. the legal minefield around ownership of fiction has demolished the publishing industry

#918 J'Accuse!

4. politicians spend more time in courtrooms than in Parliament

5. politicians spend more time in courtrooms than in Parliament

#1222 Family Matters

1. the aphorism "there's no need to argue" has been dismissed by @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@

2. the most commonly-worn shoes are concrete ones

No Prison

Jails and prisons are not employed.

Gained from:

2. all prisons have been eliminated

#159 Think Tank Proposes Privatised Prisons

2. convicted murderers are free to walk the streets provided they attend rehabilitation classes

3. criminals are thrown to the @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to repay their debt to society

#487 Masks of Shame

3. public shaming is the bedrock of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ society

#1200 Choose Your God Wisely

2. an eye for an eye leaves @@NAME@@ blind

#978 Alone in the Dark

3. justice is blinding

Removed by:

#199 More Jails Needed

1. the new prison system is crowding up at an alarming rate

#232 Suffragette City

4. women are often jailed for failing to fetch their husbands' slippers

5. women are often jailed for failing to fetch their husbands' slippers

1. @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ believe a soft answer turneth away wrath but punitive punishment is much more fun

2. @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ believe a soft answer turneth away wrath but punitive punishment is much more fun

3. serial killers share cells with serial jaywalkers

4. serial killers share cells with serial jaywalkers

#1542 Dangerous Liaisons

1. commuters travel in zigzags to avoid stalking accusations

2. commuters travel in zigzags to avoid stalking accusations

Economy

AI Planning

The nation runs an AI-backed planned economy.

Gained from:

#4 Economic Collapse Looms!

5. computers have been put in control of the economy to keep computers from controlling the economy

Sometimes gained from:

1. all industry is owned and run by the government

#104 Public Loudspeakers Shrill With Controversy

3. ad-blocking has been nationalised

1. the government has been kicking out foreign corporations in a bid to grow enough food for the populace

1. the nation's favourite colour is red (@@EGG@@)

#250 Recession, Depression, and Deficit

1. nerds everywhere are rejoicing as they are reunited with their computers

3. computers are allowed but only just

4. the crackdown on private property seems as endless as the government issued food stamp lines

#255 Welfare Programs Not Faring Well

5. the government enforces a policy of 'from each according to their ability, to each according to the available budget'

#369 No Vocation Without Remuneration

4. foreign observers are baffled by the sway @@LEADER@@'s student intern holds over macroeconomics

#443 Five Year Plans and New Deals

4. Viagra factories are being converted to producing antimalarials for Bigtopian orphans

#481 Social Equality Reaching Embarrassing Levels

1. only AIs know why the nation is rapidly increasing its semiconductor stockpile

2. only AIs know why the nation is rapidly increasing its semiconductor stockpile

3. @@LEADER@@'s new socialist government gets its policy advice from teenagers

#851 Commercial Tidings Well in Advance

5. three-year-olds have tantrums because they don't want to be drainage technicians when they grow up

#778 Mal Appetit!

4. senior executives have become freelance basket-weavers in search of less stress and better work-life balance

5. citizens who want to celebrate the holidays generally deck the halls with old newspaper trimmings and dirty socks

#1021 Room and Board Games

5. the property market is in a bit of a state

#1063 Playing It by the Numbers

2. carpal tunnel syndrome is on the rise

4. the government is expanding hungrily in its conquest of bread

#1068 Made to Break

3. state-manufactured hammers and sickles are here to stay

#1103 Dàguó Takeaway

3. the government confiscates candy from babies for 'the greater good' of the nation

4. the stock market has been destroyed for its own protection

#31 Get Efficient, Private Sector Tells Nature

5. email killed the radio star

6. email killed the radio star

#1433 Green Thumbs Sore

3. monochrome green ECO-@@NAMEINITIALS@@ products adorn the supermarket shelves

#1435 A Hot Potato

3. farmers in arid regions are puzzled with government directions to plant rice this year

Removed by:

1. citizens must pay to enjoy @@NAME@@'s pristine beaches

2. citizens must pay to enjoy @@NAME@@'s pristine beaches

3. citizens frequently whisper of the Internet as 'the domain of the devil'

4. the recent ban on computers is causing havoc throughout the nation

3. computers have been banned

#273 Is Our Children Learning?

1. the government has returned all business to private ownership

3. the government has legalised small-scale capitalism

5. wealthy students ride to school past mendicant dropouts

6. wealthy students ride to school past mendicant dropouts

3. the government is rounding up computers and beating them into plowshares

3. computers are widely considered to be the "devil magic of heathens"

3. chain casinos dominate the national gambling market

4. chain casinos dominate the national gambling market

#498 Computer Says No

1. government officials frown on anything more technologically advanced than an abacus

2. the road to capitalism has proved an epic drama of adventure and exploration

4. the nation has reverted back to an agrarian society after anything more advanced than the wheel was banned

4. Party members are derided as class traitors

2. meetings are often scheduled for "about four-ish" following complete conversion to sundials

5. the "Brave New World" program has caused private businesses to spring up faster than the East Lebatuck Wall

#900 Piracy on the High Trees

2. consumers are free to choose - so long as they choose Eckie-Ecola or Eckie-Cola

3. citizens may now wear shoes while watching television as long as the television is outside and the shoes are rental

4. citizens may now wear shoes while watching television as long as the television is outside and the shoes are rental

4. newly-privatized lumberjacks are clearcutting the forest to meet demand

#920 Central Planning Theatrics

4. boom-and-bust cycles are being peddled as economically inevitable

3. ticket touts are blamed for the downfall of communism

5. the red star of communism has been replaced by the gold star of the McRonald's badge

2. the end of communism came with retail rather than revolution

4. spiritual leaders preach that the poor are being punished for their sins

5. the nation has become both the largest producer and consumer of abaci in @@REGION@@

4. the government is taking its ball and going home

Sometimes removed by:

#93 Affirmative Action in @@NAME@@?

5. economists speak of trusting in the Tao of Free Market Capitalism

Affirmative Action

Organizations are required to meet demographic quotas.

Gained from:

2. colleges adhere to rigid ethnic quotas for admissions

#306 A Matter of Trust

4. bills about shades of lipstick are frequently introduced in the nation's legislature

#948 1x, 2x, 3x, a Lady

2. any girl that shows an interest in Lego is pressured to study engineering

#1362 The Trans Panic Button

3. @@LEADER@@ is considering changing the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ flag to one with more glitter

Removed by:

#315 Creative Flowers Withering Under Legislation

2. immigrants flood the job queues as discrimination in the workplace makes a staggering comeback

#464 The @@ANIMAL@@ Republic Shall Rise Again?

4. the government has embraced apartheid

#948 1x, 2x, 3x, a Lady

3. women complaining about lack of opportunity are told to "man up"

4. women complaining about lack of opportunity are told to "man up"

5. male celebrity chefs are laughed at for their lack of manliness

#1258 Henceforward Shall Be Free

3. former slaves are free to be oppressed

Sometimes removed by:

#508 Ex-Cons Robbed of Future

2. jaywalkers are condemned to lives of poverty for their heinous crimes

Autarky

The nation pursues a policy of economic self-sufficiency.

Gained from:

#126 Outsourcing an Outrage, Say Demonstrators

1. corporations are forbidden from employing outside the nation

1. the government has been kicking out foreign corporations in a bid to grow enough food for the populace

#649 Made in Maxtopia

3. there are no bananas today in @@NAME@@

3. there is a law against "filthy foreign food"

#1412 Another Day, Another Dollar

4. an iron curtain has descended around the nation

4. purchasing a can of Addison Cola requires a wheelbarrow of cash

#1420 Trading Climate Sours

3. attempts at growing pineapples in the desert have been unsuccessful

Removed by:

#266 Easter Egg: Breaching the Great Fourth Wall of @@NAME@@

1. trade is bringing a wide selection of strange resources and technologies into @@NAME@@ although importers have the highest mortality rate in the nation (@@EGG@@)

3. half the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Army consists of Brasilistani contractors

#1185 Should Be Sufficient

4. the nation's largest export is socialist agitators

3. the best fashion comes straight to the high street from sweatshops all across the globe

4. socialism gives everyone a share of the economy's growing carbon footprint

#1230 Home Hunger

1. new pests have been imported into @@NAME@@

#922 I'll Have What She's Having

3. autarky's deemed malarkey as foreign bric-a-brac's brought back

#1546 Fool's Gold

3. government debts are financed through alchemy

4. government debts are financed through alchemy

Sometimes removed by:

1. the fattest folk in @@NAME@@ look to be the happiest ones

Cannabis

Cannabis may be legally purchased.

Gained from:

1. shops were recently ransacked as cigarettes returned to the shelves

3. zombie-like crowds of hard drug users stumble through the streets

#420 Caught Green Handed

3. Maxtopian Grass flags adorn every college dorm room

#1484 Joint Trade Agreement

3. there's a lot of smoke from the nation's "green economy"

4. slackers at work are told to "crack on with it"

3. the nation is going green

#1510 Devolution Devolves Into Disaster?

4. meteorologists warn of fog just past 4pm daily

Sometimes gained from:

#77 Easter Egg: World to End, or Possibly Just Mark Anniversary

3. the nation is cleaning up after a national night of celebration left most people with headaches and dim memories (@@EGG@@)

#185 "Bring Back Our Booze!" Cry Revellers

1. 'Mountain Doobie' is widely regarded as the nation's favourite drink

3. reports of attacks by bright purple sixty-foot high spiders have recently shot up

1. @@NAME@@'s fine wines are renowned throughout the region

3. GP clinics are inundated by patients requesting prescriptions for alcohol

#227 Underage Drinkers: Social Menace or Misunderstood?

4. a chain of pubs that cater solely to children has recently been unveiled

1. fraternities are notorious for drunken hooliganism

3. @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ athletes are close to breaking the 2 minute mile and the 16 meter long jump

#565 'A' Is for Academic Doping

3. visions of giant pink @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ are a common side effect after @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ eat their meals

3. exam halls are littered with used needles and empty pill bottles

5. exam halls are littered with used needles and empty pill bottles

#573 The Road to Blackacre Ends Here?

3. a policy of plausible deniability helps protect the government from athletic doping scandals

#584 The Cake Is a Lie

2. they say that @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ made a dessert and called it peace

#588 Last Call for Alcohol?

3. bars are packed at all hours

2. raver DJ XStacy holds multiple medical degrees in chillaxing

1. @@LEADER@@'s peyote-induced "let's all just be friends" speech is trending world-wide

#635 Hey Kid, Have a Cigar

11. former customs officers are adjusting to their new lives as market stall traders

2. schoolyard sandboxes resemble ashtrays due to the large number of cigarette butts

3. schoolyard sandboxes resemble ashtrays due to the large number of cigarette butts

#676 Down the Rabbit Hole

2. cash-strapped junkies lick rabbits for a cheap high

#707 The Eye of the Tiger

2. the Motherland's muscle-bound athletes won 786 medals at the last United @@REGION@@ Games

#770 Vaping Up a Storm

2. kids' party bags often contain candy and e-cigarettes

#847 All the Lonely People

4. visitors to Violet Rock City are stunned to learn that they must memorize the "99 Principles" before entering

2. retirement apartments house giggling grannies who delightedly watch blank TVs all day long

#849 Sky High

2. crackheads chase drug-loaded drones in hopes of a lucky drop

2. cigarettes are dead-cheap

4. parties on cruise ships go off with a real bang

1. seasonal hay-fever sufferers are attending government drug counselling sessions to get free doughnuts

1. peer pressure from cooler world leaders directs @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ government policy

2. @@LEADER@@ lights cigars with a hundred-@@CURRENCY@@ bill

4. teen gangs are encouraged to take drugs

#1293 Bet Your Life

3. grinning punters say that casino roulette is the greatest high that life has to offer

7. skyscrapers get built in just days

3. homesickness is thought to be a waterborne illness

4. homesickness is thought to be a waterborne illness

3. glossy adverts featuring baby's first puff adorn mothers' magazines

2. party-lovers often change religions just for the weekend

#1537 Bench Wars

3. the running costs of homeless shelters are so high that it would be cheaper to buy houses for the homeless

Removed by:

#237 Tourists on Death Row

2. drug distribution is tightly controlled by the government

3. drug-related crimes carry the death penalty

#284 Drug Legality Run Amok

3. the government has begun a crusade against drugs

4. politicians debate whether caffeine is too addictive for the public

2. denied drugs and entertainment the nation's youth are taking to petty crime to alleviate their boredom

2. journalists giggle uncontrollably while reporting the nation's drug bonfires

#730 It's Legal Now!

3. chests full of green leaves dumped into the harbor have many murmuring against the government

#34 Don't Puff on Me, Say Non-Smokers

3. citizens have to stick a fork into an electrical outlet to get a buzz

Sometimes removed by:

2. an underground movement of cigarette smokers has sprung up in response to a government ban

#1210 Big Tobacco in Big Trouble

1. invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days

4. the tobacco industry has burnt out

#1252 Ale to the Chief

2. visiting dignitaries make excuses to leave functions early and head to the nearest pub

#31 Get Efficient, Private Sector Tells Nature

3. a soldier's body is a temple

4. a soldier's body is a temple

5. a soldier's body is a temple

6. a soldier's body is a temple

Capitalism

Private industry is permitted within a market-based economy.

Gained from:

1. citizens must pay to enjoy @@NAME@@'s pristine beaches

2. citizens must pay to enjoy @@NAME@@'s pristine beaches

#273 Is Our Children Learning?

1. the government has returned all business to private ownership

3. the government has legalised small-scale capitalism

5. wealthy students ride to school past mendicant dropouts

6. wealthy students ride to school past mendicant dropouts

3. the economy is undergoing a traumatic transition to capitalism

3. chain casinos dominate the national gambling market

4. chain casinos dominate the national gambling market

#498 Computer Says No

2. the road to capitalism has proved an epic drama of adventure and exploration

4. Party members are derided as class traitors

5. the "Brave New World" program has caused private businesses to spring up faster than the East Lebatuck Wall

#900 Piracy on the High Trees

2. consumers are free to choose - so long as they choose Eckie-Ecola or Eckie-Cola

3. citizens may now wear shoes while watching television as long as the television is outside and the shoes are rental

4. citizens may now wear shoes while watching television as long as the television is outside and the shoes are rental

4. newly-privatized lumberjacks are clearcutting the forest to meet demand

#920 Central Planning Theatrics

4. boom-and-bust cycles are being peddled as economically inevitable

3. ticket touts are blamed for the downfall of communism

5. the red star of communism has been replaced by the gold star of the McRonald's badge

2. the end of communism came with retail rather than revolution

4. spiritual leaders preach that the poor are being punished for their sins

4. the government is taking its ball and going home

Sometimes gained from:

#4 Economic Collapse Looms!

5. economists speak of trusting in the Tao of Free Market Capitalism

Removed by:

1. all industry is owned and run by the government

#104 Public Loudspeakers Shrill With Controversy

3. ad-blocking has been nationalised

1. the government has been kicking out foreign corporations in a bid to grow enough food for the populace

#250 Recession, Depression, and Deficit

1. the nation's favourite colour is red (@@EGG@@)

4. the crackdown on private property seems as endless as the government issued food stamp lines

#255 Welfare Programs Not Faring Well

5. the government enforces a policy of 'from each according to their ability, to each according to the available budget'

#369 No Vocation Without Remuneration

4. foreign observers are baffled by the sway @@LEADER@@'s student intern holds over macroeconomics

#443 Five Year Plans and New Deals

4. Viagra factories are being converted to producing antimalarials for Bigtopian orphans

#481 Social Equality Reaching Embarrassing Levels

1. only AIs know why the nation is rapidly increasing its semiconductor stockpile

2. only AIs know why the nation is rapidly increasing its semiconductor stockpile

3. @@LEADER@@'s new socialist government gets its policy advice from teenagers

#851 Commercial Tidings Well in Advance

5. three-year-olds have tantrums because they don't want to be drainage technicians when they grow up

#778 Mal Appetit!

4. senior executives have become freelance basket-weavers in search of less stress and better work-life balance

5. citizens who want to celebrate the holidays generally deck the halls with old newspaper trimmings and dirty socks

#1021 Room and Board Games

5. the property market is in a bit of a state

#1063 Playing It by the Numbers

4. the government is expanding hungrily in its conquest of bread

#1068 Made to Break

3. state-manufactured hammers and sickles are here to stay

#305 Who's Occupying What?

4. the stock market has been destroyed for its own protection

5. computers have been put in control of the economy to keep computers from controlling the economy

#1433 Green Thumbs Sore

3. monochrome green ECO-@@NAMEINITIALS@@ products adorn the supermarket shelves

#1435 A Hot Potato

3. farmers in arid regions are puzzled with government directions to plant rice this year

Sometimes removed by:

#1103 Dàguó Takeaway

3. the government confiscates candy from babies for 'the greater good' of the nation

Child Labor

Children may be legally employed as workers and contractors.

Gained from:

1. former school buses now regularly shuttle kids to the nearest shopping centers to work

2. millions of devastated 7-year-olds are denied astronaut and ballerina training

#638 Won't Somebody Think of the Children?

3. it's a hard-knock life for the orphans doing factory work for a pittance

#661 Scouting for Boys, Girls... Anyone?

2. the nation's youth voluntarily goes to bed early out of sheer tiredness from their working days

5. Scout campfire sing-a-longs tend to focus on the evils of antitrust legislation

#822 Never Work With Children

2. @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ actors literally work from cradle to grave

#1307 A Duty to Serve

4. record numbers of students are leaving school to enter the workforce

#1322 Introducing Altengarten?

4. the first test of a good kindergartener is the quality of the sponge-baths they give

#1502 Dirty Deals

3. work stinks

4. work stinks

Removed by:

#63 Tykes With Tools?

1. child labor has been outlawed

#421 No Child Left Behind Enemy Lines

1. army uniforms are replaced en masse to accommodate adult soldiers

Maternity Leave Women receive paid leave from employment for childbirth.
Gained from: #174 Maternity Leave a Must, Say Mothers 2. all mothers are allowed six months fully-paid maternity leave 3. untold millions of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ are going into a new government-funded maternity leave scheme 4. untold millions of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ are going into a new government-funded maternity leave scheme	Removed by: #304 Time for Paternity Leave, Say Dads 4. most mothers are forced to quit their jobs to care for infants 5. most mothers are forced to quit their jobs to care for infants 6. mandatory daycare is provided by the government

Metricism

The state mandates the use of the metric system.

Gained from:

Sometimes gained from:

#319 Sizing Up the Competition

1. teams of painters are converting road signs from horse lengths to kilometers

Removed by:

#892 The Old Metric

1. an extra hand on the leg will give a horse-and-a-half of lead in a hundred jiffies on seven furlongs

No Aircraft

Aircraft are banned.

Gained from:

#248 The Sky Is Falling

5. aeroplanes have been converted into housing units after all air travel was outlawed

#408 Easter Egg: Pony Peril

3. ponies working in the nation's salt mines have a life expectancy of weeks (@@EGG@@)

#652 Mayday! Mayday!

5. derelict airplanes have been converted into novelty restaurants and hotels

#784 The Driving Force

5. mail and shipped goods take forever to get to buyers

#787 Come Fly With Me?

3. @@ANIMAL@@-wagons to @@CAPITAL@@ are often canceled due to excessive levels of manure on the roads

#1348 Heaven Can't Wait

5. above @@NAME@@ there is only sky and the fear of the unknown

6. above @@NAME@@ there is only sky and the fear of the unknown

Removed by:

#278 Relief Is Coming... In Four to Six Weeks

1. contrails and thunderous rumbles have returned to the skies above

#1051 Take to the Skies

2. former planespotters are dusting off long-abandoned anoraks

No Automobiles

Cars are banned.

Gained from:

#102 For Whom the Road Tolls

1. cars are banned

3. cars have been banned

#154 Ban the 'Boards, Say Pedestrians

3. skateboarding is the only legal way to travel

#186 Carjacking Concerns

4. urban citizens are forced onto public transport while rural citizens ride horses and buggies

#256 Easter Egg: Suburbs Are Out of This World

2. white-collar unemployment skyrockets as the suburbs are not within bicycling distance to work (@@EGG@@)

#272 Slow Down, You're Going Too Fast

3. bicycle parking sheds have sprouted like mushrooms near rail stations after cars were banned

#290 Wheels of Misfortune

4. heavy industry grinds to a halt as new equipment must be biked in

#302 Delivering Mayhem in Thirty Minutes or Less!

1. many feel that the government's ban on cars to combat reckless driving was "a tad excessive"

#408 Easter Egg: Pony Peril

3. ponies working in the nation's salt mines have a life expectancy of weeks (@@EGG@@)

#713 Life in the Bike Lane

4. the nation has reverted back to an agrarian society after anything more advanced than the wheel was banned

4. the nation's infamous rickshaw ambulances often double as hearses

#784 The Driving Force

5. mail and shipped goods take forever to get to buyers

#997 [The Enemy Within] Not a Second Time

5. mandatory blunting of cutlery has increased the popularity of soup-based meals

Removed by:

#73 @@NAME@@ - Without Cars, Going Nowhere Fast

1. the ban on cars has been repealed

2. the ban on cars has been repealed

3. the government is spending millions on alternative clean-burning fuels

11. former customs officers are adjusting to their new lives as market stall traders

5. cars are allowed to drive in bike lanes

#945 Police on the Take

2. crimes are difficult to stop as most of the police force is stuck in traffic

#1022 Failure to Respond

5. the "good old days" of road traffic accidents and smog-filled cities are back

2. motorbike jousters live young and die fast

3. motorbike jousters live young and die fast

#1310 Intimate Relations

7. excited Romeos drive all the way to the next village for a date

No Computers

Computers are banned.

Gained from:

3. citizens frequently whisper of the Internet as 'the domain of the devil'

4. the recent ban on computers is causing havoc throughout the nation

#193 Robots Leaving Workers Jobless

3. computers have been banned

4. the loom represents the height of @@NAME@@'s technology

3. the government is rounding up computers and beating them into plowshares

3. computers are widely considered to be the "devil magic of heathens"

4. the nation has reverted back to an agrarian society after anything more advanced than the wheel was banned

2. meetings are often scheduled for "about four-ish" following complete conversion to sundials

5. the nation has become both the largest producer and consumer of abaci in @@REGION@@

Removed by:

1. nerds everywhere are rejoicing as they are reunited with their computers

3. computers are allowed but only just

2. carpal tunnel syndrome is on the rise

5. email killed the radio star

6. email killed the radio star

3. private records are being put online with a convenient "download" button

No Drugs

All recreational drugs are prohibited.

Gained from:

#730 It's Legal Now!

3. chests full of green leaves dumped into the harbor have many murmuring against the government

3. acupuncture is routinely prescribed for intravenous drug addicts

#34 Don't Puff on Me, Say Non-Smokers

3. citizens have to stick a fork into an electrical outlet to get a buzz

Sometimes gained from:

2. an underground movement of cigarette smokers has sprung up in response to a government ban

#107 Private Lab Holds @@NAME@@'s Sick to Ransom

3. the judicial system legislates morality

4. the judicial system legislates morality

3. the religious lobby has the power of veto over health initiatives

2. drug distribution is tightly controlled by the government

#227 Underage Drinkers: Social Menace or Misunderstood?

2. the police have reaffirmed their tough stance on drugs

1. underage drinkers are dragged through the streets and put in the stocks

2. the government jails the parents of underage drinkers

#237 Tourists on Death Row

3. drug-related crimes carry the death penalty

#420 Caught Green Handed

1. many politicians are serving jail time for minor drug offenses

2. many politicians are in rehab for minor drug offenses

#428 Crop Circles Clutter @@CAPITAL@@

3. it is a crime to operate a combine harvester while intoxicated

2. public intoxication has decreased ever since fraternities were banned

1. invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days

#565 'A' Is for Academic Doping

3. visions of giant pink @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ are a common side effect after @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ eat their meals

3. exam halls are littered with used needles and empty pill bottles

5. exam halls are littered with used needles and empty pill bottles

2. denied drugs and entertainment the nation's youth are taking to petty crime to alleviate their boredom

#635 Hey Kid, Have a Cigar

2. journalists giggle uncontrollably while reporting the nation's drug bonfires

2. schoolyard sandboxes resemble ashtrays due to the large number of cigarette butts

3. schoolyard sandboxes resemble ashtrays due to the large number of cigarette butts

#770 Vaping Up a Storm

1. sniffer dogs are trained to follow clouds of fruity-smelling vapor

2. kids' party bags often contain candy and e-cigarettes

3. there is a heavy social stigma attached to e-cigarettes

#847 All the Lonely People

2. retirement apartments house giggling grannies who delightedly watch blank TVs all day long

#993 Drug Deal

1. drugs containing the compound "oleum de serpens" are being sold to cancer patients

2. doctors accused of having no heart reply that cardiology isn't their speciality

1. the contraband cigarette trade is lighting up across @@NAME@@

2. cigarettes are dead-cheap

4. the tax department is having withdrawal symptoms

2. sailors spend their shore leave helping old ladies cross the street

4. parties on cruise ships go off with a real bang

1. seasonal hay-fever sufferers are attending government drug counselling sessions to get free doughnuts

2. withdrawal of support for drug addicts is leaving many with cold sweats

#1210 Big Tobacco in Big Trouble

5. exceptionally healthy police officers can sprint after crooks for hours on end

#1125 Blowing Smoke

2. worrywarts have started advocating for a paint ban

4. the tobacco industry has burnt out

#1252 Ale to the Chief

2. visiting dignitaries make excuses to leave functions early and head to the nearest pub

3. a soldier's body is a temple

4. a soldier's body is a temple

5. a soldier's body is a temple

6. a soldier's body is a temple

7. skyscrapers get built in just days

3. homesickness is thought to be a waterborne illness

4. homesickness is thought to be a waterborne illness

3. glossy adverts featuring baby's first puff adorn mothers' magazines

#1484 Joint Trade Agreement

1. the only soporific permitted during sermons is the preacher's voice

2. greenhouses are regularly raided by the police

Removed by:

#77 Easter Egg: World to End, or Possibly Just Mark Anniversary

3. the nation is cleaning up after a national night of celebration left most people with headaches and dim memories (@@EGG@@)

1. 'Mountain Doobie' is widely regarded as the nation's favourite drink

3. reports of attacks by bright purple sixty-foot high spiders have recently shot up

#185 "Bring Back Our Booze!" Cry Revellers

1. shops were recently ransacked as cigarettes returned to the shelves

3. zombie-like crowds of hard drug users stumble through the streets

1. @@NAME@@'s fine wines are renowned throughout the region

3. GP clinics are inundated by patients requesting prescriptions for alcohol

#227 Underage Drinkers: Social Menace or Misunderstood?

4. a chain of pubs that cater solely to children has recently been unveiled

5. the nation is constantly threatened with invasion but at least homosexuality in the military isn't a problem

6. the nation is constantly threatened with invasion but at least homosexuality in the military isn't a problem

#409 Water Palaver

2. the state funds the recreational drug habits of every citizen

#420 Caught Green Handed

3. Maxtopian Grass flags adorn every college dorm room

1. fraternities are notorious for drunken hooliganism

3. @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ athletes are close to breaking the 2 minute mile and the 16 meter long jump

#519 School's Out (Of Control)

3. visions of giant pink @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ are a common side effect after @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ eat their meals

4. children often leave school with more diagnoses than qualifications

#565 'A' Is for Academic Doping

3. exam halls are littered with used needles and empty pill bottles

5. exam halls are littered with used needles and empty pill bottles

#573 The Road to Blackacre Ends Here?

3. a policy of plausible deniability helps protect the government from athletic doping scandals

#584 The Cake Is a Lie

2. they say that @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ made a dessert and called it peace

#588 Last Call for Alcohol?

3. bars are packed at all hours

#600 Making a House a Home

2. raver DJ XStacy holds multiple medical degrees in chillaxing

7. @@LEADER@@'s personal home is one of @@REGION@@'s most notorious party destinations

1. @@LEADER@@'s peyote-induced "let's all just be friends" speech is trending world-wide

#635 Hey Kid, Have a Cigar

11. former customs officers are adjusting to their new lives as market stall traders

2. schoolyard sandboxes resemble ashtrays due to the large number of cigarette butts

3. schoolyard sandboxes resemble ashtrays due to the large number of cigarette butts

#676 Down the Rabbit Hole

2. cash-strapped junkies lick rabbits for a cheap high

#707 The Eye of the Tiger

2. the Motherland's muscle-bound athletes won 786 medals at the last United @@REGION@@ Games

#770 Vaping Up a Storm

2. kids' party bags often contain candy and e-cigarettes

#847 All the Lonely People

4. visitors to Violet Rock City are stunned to learn that they must memorize the "99 Principles" before entering

2. retirement apartments house giggling grannies who delightedly watch blank TVs all day long

#849 Sky High

2. crackheads chase drug-loaded drones in hopes of a lucky drop

#993 Drug Deal

1. drugs containing the compound "oleum de serpens" are being sold to cancer patients

#1016 Breaking Upset

4. Brown Sugar 101 is a popular course at community colleges

5. emergency services don't respond to trailer park fires

2. cigarettes are dead-cheap

4. parties on cruise ships go off with a real bang

1. seasonal hay-fever sufferers are attending government drug counselling sessions to get free doughnuts

1. peer pressure from cooler world leaders directs @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ government policy

2. @@LEADER@@ lights cigars with a hundred-@@CURRENCY@@ bill

3. there's a lot of smoke from the nation's "green economy"

4. slackers at work are told to "crack on with it"

#1125 Blowing Smoke

1. the urinary fragrance of seedier establishments is thankfully hidden by the smell of stale smoke

3. public parks are littered with cigarette butts

4. teen gangs are encouraged to take drugs

#1293 Bet Your Life

3. grinning punters say that casino roulette is the greatest high that life has to offer

7. skyscrapers get built in just days

3. homesickness is thought to be a waterborne illness

4. homesickness is thought to be a waterborne illness

3. glossy adverts featuring baby's first puff adorn mothers' magazines

4. adverts urge @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ to "reach for a ciggy instead of your supper"

#1484 Joint Trade Agreement

2. party-lovers often change religions just for the weekend

#1406 Can't Touch This

5. falling over while singing is a national pastime

3. the nation is going green

#1510 Devolution Devolves Into Disaster?

4. meteorologists warn of fog just past 4pm daily

#1537 Bench Wars

3. the running costs of homeless shelters are so high that it would be cheaper to buy houses for the homeless

#1548 Killing in the Name of Beer

1. roaming gangsters have been replaced by roaming drunkards

4. the official government position is that "we didn't see nothin'"

#1550 A Friend With Weed Is a Friend Indeed?

1. criminals tell the police where their jurisdiction ends

Sometimes removed by:

2. the government has certified several glow-in-the-dark athletes as drug free

1. it is well recognised that you can't sustain communism without a bit of spirit

2. it is well recognised that you can't sustain communism without a bit of spirit

No Gambling

Gambling is illegal.

Gained from:

#5 Child Casino Shock

1. gambling is outlawed

#1321 Who Wants to Know a Millionaire?

2. betting pennies on games of Go Fish is considered deviant

3. there's no such thing as a safe bet

Sometimes gained from:

#436 Voters, Place Your Bets!

1. it is a common belief that a sport isn't sport if there are no decapitations

3. criminals are thrown to the @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to repay their debt to society

1. politicians and casino owners who so much as wander into the same room are arrested on the spot

2. polling place volunteers are suddenly opening a huge number of offshore bank accounts

3. popular candidates who don't suffer last-second political scandals tend to get fished out of the @@CAPITAL@@ River

#453 Parliamentary Playground

4. @@NAMEINITIALS@@-SPAN features senators wrestling with ever-increasing production elements

#686 Freemium Isn't Free

1. the "daily grind" consists of levelling up in tedious video games

#1439 Philately Will Get You Nowhere

2. penny whistles have been rebranded 'tin hornpipes'

Removed by:

#108 Gambling Interests Offer High Stakes

1. rumor has it that the government was paid off by the mob to allow casinos to reopen

3. gambling addicts regularly lose their families' nest eggs at Native @@DEMONYMNOUN@@ casinos

#327 No Rest for the Weary @@ANIMAL@@

1. it is a common belief that a sport isn't sport if there are no decapitations

3. criminals are thrown to the @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to repay their debt to society

3. the @@ANIMAL@@ stadiums are open 24/7

#436 Voters, Place Your Bets!

1. citizens re-mortgage their homes to buy lottery tickets

3. chain casinos dominate the national gambling market

4. chain casinos dominate the national gambling market

5. @@LEADER@@'s pleasure palace epitomizes corruption

2. polling place volunteers are suddenly opening a huge number of offshore bank accounts

3. popular candidates who don't suffer last-second political scandals tend to get fished out of the @@CAPITAL@@ River

#453 Parliamentary Playground

4. @@NAMEINITIALS@@-SPAN features senators wrestling with ever-increasing production elements

#777 Betting on the Future

1. hundreds of teenagers die every year at the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Hungry Games

#594 Tie Fighters

3. it is rumoured that @@LEADER@@ uses a magic 8-ball to make policy decisions

#686 Freemium Isn't Free

2. children often explain to their parents that the Mega Ultimate Sword Fist was worth the thousand-@@CURRENCY@@ charge on their phone bill

1. no cul-de-sac or trailer park is complete without a gambling parlor

3. tax returns detail how many games of slots each citizen will be able to play with their refund

#952 Why the Long Face?

2. glue production is at an all-time high

#1549 Easter Egg: 20 Years A-Workin'

4. the nation is renowned abroad for its love of blood and guts

#1293 Bet Your Life

1. you can bet your bottom dollar that gambling will cost you an arm and a leg

3. grinning punters say that casino roulette is the greatest high that life has to offer

#1504 Asking for a Raise

1. job security isn't great for professional roulette players

2. card players are calling the government's bluff on anti-gambling legislation

7. @@LEADER@@ is convinced that other nations can simply be "junked" (@@EGG@@)

Sometimes removed by:

#514 Contract Killer

1. murder is sanctioned if the legal paperwork is filled out correctly

No Internet

Citizens may not connect to the Internet.

Gained from:

#37 Traffic Cops Needed on Information Superhighway?

2. the country has unplugged its internet connection to prevent subversive content

#323 Get Teens Out of MyFace?

3. computers are allowed but only just

#269 Stop the Presses!

4. abacus sales outpace those of the personal computer following the closure of the Internet

4. computers are used primarily for word processing and solitaire

#353 Broadband Going to the Birds?

3. stray cats threaten the fledgling avian-based internet

#437 Blue Screen of Economic Death

4. necklace theft is the nation's fastest-growing crime

4. the nation has reverted back to an agrarian society after anything more advanced than the wheel was banned

#804 Motivational Posters

4. no one can find a leaky faucet in @@NAME@@ anymore

#711 Patently Obvious

3. diagrams of new modems collect dust in patent offices

3. rubber stamp emojis are the new craze

#906 Internet Killed the Television Star

4. televangelists often claim they can cure your Lupus if you donate enough money

5. television is strictly censored so that it promotes @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ values

#1073 Much Ado About Everything

3. this year's comedy award has left mothers-in-law seething

#1176 Haters Gonna Hate

4. the government has swiped left on the whole internet

#1242 Jump Leads

5. the incidence of wrist sprains is falling

Removed by:

1. nerds everywhere are rejoicing as they are reunited with their computers

1. teenagers haven't been seen outdoors since the nation reconnected to the Internet

#1281 The Not-So-Worldwide Web

5. email killed the radio star

6. email killed the radio star

1. "Surfin' @@TYPEINITIALS@@@@NAMEINITIALS@@" is a hit

#188 Video Games Too Violent, Say Parents

3. private records are being put online with a convenient "download" button

No Nuclear Power Nuclear power generation is prohibited.
Gained from: #206 @@NAME@@ Narrowly Misses Nuclear Accident 1. the nation has been declared a nuclear-free zone #542 What a Waste 2. with great power generation comes great responsibility #590 When Trees Hug Back 3. government-sanctioned factory-smashing has the Luddites of @@NAME@@ rejoicing	Removed by: #69 Power Problems Need Bright Solution 3. protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations

No Video Games

Computer games are banned.

Gained from:

4. students everywhere have been despairing after the recent ban on video games

#485 Really Real eSports Tournament

3. young adults are stepping outside for the first time in ages after video games were recently banned

#544 Object-Oriented Programming

4. the nation has reverted back to an agrarian society after anything more advanced than the wheel was banned

4. children play ring-around-the-rosey around bonfires of videogame cartridges

Removed by:

#301 Are 'Friends' Electric?

4. locally produced computer games are being released faster than gamers can play them

5. locally produced computer games are being released faster than gamers can play them

#561 Plug in and Play

1. retail stores have reported mile-long lines after the ban on video games was lifted

4. Hide and Seek with Cuddle Bear is the most popular video game in the nation

Nuclear Power

The nation is nuclear powered.

Gained from:

1. environmentalists are staging large protests in front of reopened nuclear power plants

Sometimes gained from:

#69 Power Problems Need Bright Solution

3. protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations

#649 Made in Maxtopia

3. there are no bananas today in @@NAME@@

#971 Ambassadors Inextraordinary

3. there is a law against "filthy foreign food"

4. foreign heads of state have taken out restraining orders against @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ ambassadors

#1420 Trading Climate Sours

4. an iron curtain has descended around the nation

3. attempts at growing pineapples in the desert have been unsuccessful

Removed by:

#206 @@NAME@@ Narrowly Misses Nuclear Accident

1. the nation has been declared a nuclear-free zone

4. @@NAME@@'s nuclear power is imported from neighbouring countries

#542 What a Waste

2. with great power generation comes great responsibility

#590 When Trees Hug Back

3. government-sanctioned factory-smashing has the Luddites of @@NAME@@ rejoicing

Sometimes removed by:

#1185 Should Be Sufficient

3. the best fashion comes straight to the high street from sweatshops all across the globe

#59 Drunk Driving on the Rise

3. autarky's deemed malarkey as foreign bric-a-brac's brought back

Prohibition

Alcohol is banned.

Gained from:

3. all alcohol is banned

#227 Underage Drinkers: Social Menace or Misunderstood?

7. ravers are having trouble getting used to blackcurrant squash instead of vodka

#284 Drug Legality Run Amok

4. politicians debate whether caffeine is too addictive for the public

#588 Last Call for Alcohol?

4. moonshine and organized crime are on the rise ever since alcohol was banned

1. former bars are desperately trying to re-brand themselves as cafés

#1108 A Whiskey Rebellion Brewing

6. hospitals scramble for new disinfectants following a ban on rubbing alcohol

3. acupuncture is routinely prescribed for intravenous drug addicts

3. citizens have to stick a fork into an electrical outlet to get a buzz

Removed by:

#185 "Bring Back Our Booze!" Cry Revellers

3. zombie-like crowds of hard drug users stumble through the streets

1. @@NAME@@'s fine wines are renowned throughout the region

#985 Service With a Snarl

3. bar brawls are an hourly occurrence

4. bar brawls are an hourly occurrence

#1548 Killing in the Name of Beer

1. it is well recognised that you can't sustain communism without a bit of spirit

2. it is well recognised that you can't sustain communism without a bit of spirit

#1406 Can't Touch This

5. falling over while singing is a national pastime

1. roaming gangsters have been replaced by roaming drunkards

Sometimes removed by:

#375 Easter Egg: Keep Your Hands Off Those Lucky Charms!

3. drunk leprechauns pelt countryside ramblers with gold coins (@@EGG@@)

Slavery

Slavery is legal.

Gained from:

#136 Much Ado About Abortion

4. families are only permitted to have one child

#190 Immigrants Import Homeland Rivalries

1. immigrant Maxtopians are routinely sold on popular internet auction sites

2. Maxtopian slaves are routinely sold as an optional extra for household appliances

#224 Minimum Wage War

4. the workforce is almost entirely made up of slave labour

#408 Easter Egg: Pony Peril

3. ponies working in the nation's salt mines have a life expectancy of weeks (@@EGG@@)

#559 The Low Aspiration Nation

3. the unemployed are quite literally sold to the highest bidder

#254 Freedom Comes at a Price

4. fathers are free to sell their daughters to whomever they choose

#710 Feudal Feuds

1. a serf by any other name works just as hard

#878 DoublePlusUnGood

2. citizens know not to ask what their country can do for them but what they can do as chained slaves for their country

#1009 A Woman's Roll

4. glassy-eyed @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ wives lifelessly chant "I love you" on command

#1038 Maid to Order

3. slaving over a hot stove to cook the family dinner isn't metaphorical in @@NAME@@

#1434 Blood on Your Nuts

3. slavers are real nutters

Removed by:

2. employers are gradually adapting to the alien premise of paying wages to their workers

#898 Two's Company, Three's a Crowd, Four's an Uprising

4. many former slaves are finding out there is such a thing as a free lunch

#1196 The Properties of Property

3. slavery has been abolished

Socialism

Industry is owned and run by the government in a centrally planned economy.

Gained from:

#4 Economic Collapse Looms!

1. all industry is owned and run by the government

#104 Public Loudspeakers Shrill With Controversy

3. ad-blocking has been nationalised

1. the government has been kicking out foreign corporations in a bid to grow enough food for the populace

#250 Recession, Depression, and Deficit

1. the nation's favourite colour is red (@@EGG@@)

4. the crackdown on private property seems as endless as the government issued food stamp lines

#255 Welfare Programs Not Faring Well

5. the government enforces a policy of 'from each according to their ability, to each according to the available budget'

#369 No Vocation Without Remuneration

4. foreign observers are baffled by the sway @@LEADER@@'s student intern holds over macroeconomics

#443 Five Year Plans and New Deals

4. Viagra factories are being converted to producing antimalarials for Bigtopian orphans

#481 Social Equality Reaching Embarrassing Levels

1. only AIs know why the nation is rapidly increasing its semiconductor stockpile

2. only AIs know why the nation is rapidly increasing its semiconductor stockpile

3. @@LEADER@@'s new socialist government gets its policy advice from teenagers

#851 Commercial Tidings Well in Advance

5. three-year-olds have tantrums because they don't want to be drainage technicians when they grow up

#778 Mal Appetit!

4. senior executives have become freelance basket-weavers in search of less stress and better work-life balance

5. citizens who want to celebrate the holidays generally deck the halls with old newspaper trimmings and dirty socks

#1021 Room and Board Games

5. the property market is in a bit of a state

#1063 Playing It by the Numbers

4. the government is expanding hungrily in its conquest of bread

#1068 Made to Break

3. state-manufactured hammers and sickles are here to stay

#31 Get Efficient, Private Sector Tells Nature

4. the stock market has been destroyed for its own protection

5. computers have been put in control of the economy to keep computers from controlling the economy

#1433 Green Thumbs Sore

3. monochrome green ECO-@@NAMEINITIALS@@ products adorn the supermarket shelves

#1435 A Hot Potato

3. farmers in arid regions are puzzled with government directions to plant rice this year

Sometimes gained from:

#1103 Dàguó Takeaway

3. the government confiscates candy from babies for 'the greater good' of the nation

Removed by:

1. citizens must pay to enjoy @@NAME@@'s pristine beaches

2. citizens must pay to enjoy @@NAME@@'s pristine beaches

#273 Is Our Children Learning?

1. the government has returned all business to private ownership

3. the government has legalised small-scale capitalism

5. wealthy students ride to school past mendicant dropouts

6. wealthy students ride to school past mendicant dropouts

3. the economy is undergoing a traumatic transition to capitalism

3. chain casinos dominate the national gambling market

4. chain casinos dominate the national gambling market

#498 Computer Says No

2. the road to capitalism has proved an epic drama of adventure and exploration

4. Party members are derided as class traitors

5. the "Brave New World" program has caused private businesses to spring up faster than the East Lebatuck Wall

#900 Piracy on the High Trees

2. consumers are free to choose - so long as they choose Eckie-Ecola or Eckie-Cola

3. citizens may now wear shoes while watching television as long as the television is outside and the shoes are rental

4. citizens may now wear shoes while watching television as long as the television is outside and the shoes are rental

4. newly-privatized lumberjacks are clearcutting the forest to meet demand

#920 Central Planning Theatrics

4. boom-and-bust cycles are being peddled as economically inevitable

3. ticket touts are blamed for the downfall of communism

5. the red star of communism has been replaced by the gold star of the McRonald's badge

2. the end of communism came with retail rather than revolution

4. spiritual leaders preach that the poor are being punished for their sins

4. the government is taking its ball and going home

Sometimes removed by:

#38 @@NAME@@ Looks to the Stars

5. economists speak of trusting in the Tao of Free Market Capitalism

Space Program

The nation runs a space program.

Gained from:

1. billions of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ are being poured into a space program

2. the nation's first space rocket -- sponsored by Eckie-Ecola and shaped like an enormous soda bottle -- is being developed

#97 Landfills Filling Up

1. space shuttles regularly launch rubbish into space

#233 I Spy a Diplomatic Crisis

4. most of the military's funding goes into researching space-age weaponry

5. citizens have reported seeing strange rays of light emanating from the moon

#424 You Just Sank My Battleship!

2. the military has forsaken terrestrial warfare

#495 Beloved "Planet" Has Gone to the Dogs

2. the government is spending billions of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ on a fancy space probe to find a planet that may not even exist

#643 No Small Wonder

2. the ongoing space elevator construction project has elevated the national debt to all new levels

#1348 Heaven Can't Wait

1. the holiest shrine in @@FAITH@@ is on another world

3. military chaplains grow frustrated with their long commutes

4. being a member of the glee club disqualifies @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ from space travel

Sometimes gained from:

#252 Great Balls of Fire!

1. nuclear warheads are frequently launched into space as a warning to invading meteoroids

Removed by:

#53 Orbital Armageddon?

3. the space program has been scrapped in order to focus on more terrestrial pursuits

#256 Easter Egg: Suburbs Are Out of This World

2. white-collar unemployment skyrockets as the suburbs are not within bicycling distance to work (@@EGG@@)

#361 @@CAPITAL@@, We Have a Problem

4. the eerie remains of the final shuttle mission orbit in silence as a sober reminder of the abandoned space program

#574 One Small Step for Private Enterprise?

4. falling satellites are regarded as a blessing from the gods

#589 To Boldly Go?

2. space shuttles are lying silent on the runway till the Space Agency can work out how to fit a creche and a meditation room into their next spacecraft

#590 When Trees Hug Back

3. government-sanctioned factory-smashing has the Luddites of @@NAME@@ rejoicing

#679 Space Is Big Enough for the Both of Us

3. the space program has been reduced to @@LEADER@@'s nephew playing with a cardboard space shuttle

#1099 New Satellite Blues

7. the thought of funding space programs drives @@LEADER@@ crazy

#1357 Scattered Showers

2. firework salesmen are regularly arrested for selling contraband "space rockets"

Universal Health Care

The state provides health care to all citizens.

Gained from:

#117 Stop the Suits, Say Surgeons

1. the government is spending millions to provide full health care for all citizens

4. the government is spending millions to provide full health care for all citizens

4. the study of medicine is popular throughout @@NAME@@

#337 Doctors Crossing Borders?

3. people eagerly queue days at A&E to wait for their free healthcare

#748 [The Enemy Within] In Spite of All the Danger

2. the new universal healthcare system has been dubbed @@LEADER@@-care by its detractors

#771 Drug Up the Prices

3. former pharmaceutical company owners have lost their healthy incomes

Removed by:

#110 Too Low on Laws, Say Citizens

2. the land is famous throughout the region for its rampant lawlessness

#192 Coup d'Etat in @@NAME@@!

1. the government has returned all business to private ownership

1. the national government has been dissolved by revolutionary insurgents

#217 Healthcare Services Underfunded, Claim Patients

3. the well-off are enjoying tax cuts while famine kills off the poor and destitute

5. the NHS has recently been discontinued

#1420 Trading Climate Sours

5. the health budget has been diverted into prolonging @@LEADER@@'s life

#1049 Hard Times Ahead?

3. there's stiff competition in the medical marketplace

International

Climate Treaty

The nation is a signatory to an international climate treaty.

Gained from:

#675 Trick or Treaty

4. toxic smog is dismissed as the populace just "letting off steam"

1. @@LEADER@@ arrives at international summits with a white cane

Sometimes gained from:

#675 Trick or Treaty

1. citizens cannot change their light bulbs without approval from an international committee

Removed by:

#733 The Path Less Traveled

6. aggressive promotion of global warming puts polar bears on thin ice

#766 Carbon Emissions Are Why We Can't Have Nice Things

5. @@LEADER@@ has incinerated the international climate treaty in a public coal-burning ceremony

#784 The Driving Force

4. many believe climate change is a liberal media fiction

#1065 Pulling Out

5. the nation has learned that pulling out is messy

No Emigration

Citizens are not permitted to leave.

Gained from:

#61 Should the Government Grant Estates and Titles of Nobility?

1. society and government have been organized according to a feudal hierarchy

#283 Wealthy Flee to Tax-Free Havens

3. citizens are forbidden from leaving the country

1. the cold war against capitalism is growing chillier by the day

#950 Borderline Pandemic

4. hotels often double as quarantine zones

#1020 Bi-NO-Metric?

4. schoolchildren's "what I did on my holidays" essays tend to be somewhat homogeneous

#1026 Size Matters

4. citizens are told that foreigners are hungry ghosts who eat the flesh of the overly curious

#1064 Culture Wars

2. holiday-makers leave on the same clandestine boats that illegal immigrants arrive in

4. an iron curtain has descended around the nation

#226 Expats Plea for Help in War-Torn Country

5. the only trips @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ are allowed to take are the ones caused by hallucinogens

Sometimes gained from:

4. the world outside is only known of in folklore

Removed by:

#439 The Law of Exodus

1. census workers are having a hard time figuring out who is actually living in @@NAME@@ after the ban on emigration was lifted

3. emigrants arrive on foreign shores with nothing but pocket sand

#605 The Noblest of Intentions

1. former nobles are being issued new identities in the wake of the end of serfdom

No Immigration

Foreigners cannot become residents.

Gained from:

#47 The Great Wall of @@NAME@@?

1. a large concrete wall is being built around the country's borders

#96 Water Supply Problems Becoming a Major Drain

5. crooks and people with too many kids are being kicked out of the country

#245 Clash of Cultures

6. the word 'foreigner' is considered a highly vulgar expletive

#997 [The Enemy Within] Not a Second Time

3. a giant 'No Entry' sign is being erected at the borders of @@NAME@@

#950 Borderline Pandemic

4. hotels often double as quarantine zones

7. homogenous restaurants all have very similar menus

#1020 Bi-NO-Metric?

4. schoolchildren's "what I did on my holidays" essays tend to be somewhat homogeneous

#1114 Patriotism Flagging

3. there is a 'turn around' sign at every border entrance

#1281 The Not-So-Worldwide Web

4. an iron curtain has descended around the nation

#1227 Girls on Film

2. colours are running as @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ take on their own laundry

#1230 Home Hunger

4. the ethnic makeup of the nation is as bland as the food

3. there's no more bridging into @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ ports

#1300 Fifth Column in the Fifth Chord

3. a lot of glass windows have needed replacing recently

#1519 Remittances Running Rampant

3. foreign ambassadors are accused of stealing @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ jobs

Sometimes gained from:

#491 Friends, @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@, Countrymen, Lend Me Your Ears

1. people who have lived their entire lives in @@NAME@@ are shocked to discover that they are not citizens

Removed by:

#127 Aging Concerns in @@NAME@@

5. immigrant Bigtopians work themselves to the bone to support gold-plated @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ pensions

#204 Lack of Doctors Needs Cure

2. half of @@NAME@@'s doctors can't speak the language

3. half of @@NAME@@'s doctors can't speak the language

12. the nation loves all colours indiscriminately (@@EGG@@)

1. no one born in @@NAME@@ can fix a leaky faucet

2. no one born in @@NAME@@ can fix a leaky faucet

#842 @@LEADER@@ and the Chocolate Factory

3. Brancalandian is the primary spoken language at most major tech companies

4. Brancalandian is the primary spoken language at most major tech companies

1. the tightness of border controls in @@NAME@@ leave a little to be desired

#909 On the Fence

1. a few immigrants are better than no immigrants according to @@LEADER@@

3. terrorists who are 17th cousins with the ex-wives of half-brothers of citizens are now exempt from the immigration ban

#1075 The Hand That Feeds

4. traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers

5. traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers

2. the nation continues to depend on foreigners for food

3. the nation continues to depend on foreigners for food

#1167 Another Brick in the Wall

2. an extra-long museum is being built to house the old border wall

3. refugees without a PhD are sent back to where they came from

#1276 A Boatload of Trouble

3. classes at @@CAPITAL@@ University get canceled on Brancaland's Independence Day

4. classes at @@CAPITAL@@ University get canceled on Brancaland's Independence Day

#1231 Save Our Souls

5. the nation takes the world's poor and tired and the huddled Masses yearning to breathe free

3. even immigrants complain that immigrants keep taking their jobs

#1306 The Least Common Educator

4. immigrant teachers use fat stacks of cash as teaching aids

5. immigrant teachers use fat stacks of cash as teaching aids

#1310 Intimate Relations

5. the immigration system seems to favor young unmarried women

#1390 [MADness] Spectrum of Solace

4. a surprisingly large share of the nation's budget is used to buy new houses for immigrants

5. a surprisingly large share of the nation's budget is used to buy new houses for immigrants

#1405 [MADness] Spectrum of Solace

3. a surprisingly large share of the nation's budget is used to buy new houses for immigrants

No WMDs

The nation opposes the use of WMDs.

Gained from:

4. all weapon research has been banned

#444 Virtually Assured Destruction

5. the nation is constantly threatened with invasion but at least homosexuality in the military isn't a problem

6. the nation is constantly threatened with invasion but at least homosexuality in the military isn't a problem

4. the nation has dismantled its entire WMD arsenal

5. the nation is devoted to world peas

#869 I'll Be in My Bunker

7. each infantry rifle comes pre-loaded with a single white carnation in the barrel

5. the nation's nuclear defence policy is to "turn the other cheek"

#982 Your Move, @@LEADER@@?

4. when it comes to WMDs @@NAME@@ has declared that the only winning move is not to play

#1085 Nuke Before You Leap

3. the new biography of @@LEADER@@ is subtitled "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Hate the Bomb"

3. the nation has returned to more conventional warfare to slaughter its enemies

#1375 [MADness] Never Say Yes to a Conference Again

7. the nation has chosen not to live in interesting times

#1390 [MADness] Spectrum of Solace

3. the nation's most powerful weapon is its negotiating skills

#1405 [MADness] Spectrum of Solace

2. the nation's most powerful weapon is its negotiating skills

#1413 Old Fusion

3. standard-issue infantry rifles now have carnations instead of bayonets

#1429 The Wind Become Death

2. radiation is a hot topic

Sometimes gained from:

#14 Military Demands Increased Spending

2. military funding has been stripped back

Removed by:

4. most of the military's funding goes into researching space-age weaponry

#233 I Spy a Diplomatic Crisis

1. citizens live in superstitious fear of the mysterious glowing clouds that float over @@NAME@@

2. the nation has recently been attributed to the funding of terrorist organisations

3. the nation has recently been attributed to the funding of terrorist organisations

5. citizens have reported seeing strange rays of light emanating from the moon

#252 Great Balls of Fire!

1. nuclear warheads are frequently launched into space as a warning to invading meteoroids

#312 The Empire Strikes First?

3. the nation is reliant on the principle of mutually assured destruction to maintain its security

#349 Bigtopian Bigwigs Beset Border

3. the military is recruiting war criminals to join its weapons research teams

#397 [An International Incident] Select Your Target!

3. @@REGION@@ holds its breath as nuclear warfare is being seriously considered

#398 [An International Incident] Why Did You Do That?!

3. the international community waits with bated breath as the moment of nuclear warfare comes closer

#399 [An International Incident] Invasion Plan

3. nuclear bases are readying themselves for missile deployment

#400 [An International Incident] Insurgents Resurgence

3. innocent civilians in Brasilistan are evacuating the country after rumours a nuclear strike is imminent

#401 [An International Incident] What's the WA Gonna Do, Anyway?

3. the manufacturing and stockpiling of nuclear weapons is on the increase

#403 [An International Incident] We Done Killing Yet?

2. the entire nation of Brasilistan has been designated as a nuclear testing site

#405 [An International Incident] Time for a Colonyoscopy!

4. Brasilistan is being evacuated after its designation as 'Test Zone 1 - Nuclear'

#576 Light at the End of the Tunnel

4. Maxtopians are both starving and giddy after the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ military unleashed its biological weapons

#542 What a Waste

3. nuclear physics is the most popular course at university

4. global anti-terrorist organisations strongly suspect @@NAME@@ of supplying extremist groups

4. conspiracy nuts claim that the government is trying to bring about an end to civilisation

#656 Ransoms Noted

3. cancer rates amongst the richest in society are inexplicably on the rise

#708 How @@LEADER@@ Learned to Start Worrying and Fear Bio-Weapons

2. some say @@LEADER@@ has gone MAD after authorizing the development of apocalyptic biological weapons

#1013 Grave Disease

3. wood-framed catapults are ready to launch diseased corpses into besieged cities

Weapons of Mass Destruction

The nation claims the legal right to use WMDs.

Gained from:

4. most of the military's funding goes into researching space-age weaponry

#233 I Spy a Diplomatic Crisis

1. citizens live in superstitious fear of the mysterious glowing clouds that float over @@NAME@@

2. the nation has recently been attributed to the funding of terrorist organisations

3. the nation has recently been attributed to the funding of terrorist organisations

5. citizens have reported seeing strange rays of light emanating from the moon

#312 The Empire Strikes First?

3. the nation is reliant on the principle of mutually assured destruction to maintain its security

#349 Bigtopian Bigwigs Beset Border

3. the military is recruiting war criminals to join its weapons research teams

#397 [An International Incident] Select Your Target!

3. @@REGION@@ holds its breath as nuclear warfare is being seriously considered

#398 [An International Incident] Why Did You Do That?!

3. the international community waits with bated breath as the moment of nuclear warfare comes closer

#399 [An International Incident] Invasion Plan

3. nuclear bases are readying themselves for missile deployment

#400 [An International Incident] Insurgents Resurgence

3. innocent civilians in Brasilistan are evacuating the country after rumours a nuclear strike is imminent

#401 [An International Incident] What's the WA Gonna Do, Anyway?

3. the manufacturing and stockpiling of nuclear weapons is on the increase

#402 [An International Incident] They Surrendered... Now What?

3. soldiers in Brasilistan are reported to be AWOL as @@NAME@@ prepares to bomb the nation

#403 [An International Incident] We Done Killing Yet?

2. the entire nation of Brasilistan has been designated as a nuclear testing site

#405 [An International Incident] Time for a Colonyoscopy!

4. Brasilistan is being evacuated after its designation as 'Test Zone 1 - Nuclear'

#576 Light at the End of the Tunnel

4. Maxtopians are both starving and giddy after the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ military unleashed its biological weapons

#542 What a Waste

3. nuclear physics is the most popular course at university

4. global anti-terrorist organisations strongly suspect @@NAME@@ of supplying extremist groups

4. conspiracy nuts claim that the government is trying to bring about an end to civilisation

#656 Ransoms Noted

3. cancer rates amongst the richest in society are inexplicably on the rise

#708 How @@LEADER@@ Learned to Start Worrying and Fear Bio-Weapons

2. some say @@LEADER@@ has gone MAD after authorizing the development of apocalyptic biological weapons

#1013 Grave Disease

3. wood-framed catapults are ready to launch diseased corpses into besieged cities

Sometimes gained from:

#252 Great Balls of Fire!

1. nuclear warheads are frequently launched into space as a warning to invading meteoroids

Removed by:

#14 Military Demands Increased Spending

2. military funding has been stripped back

4. all weapon research has been banned

#444 Virtually Assured Destruction

5. the nation is constantly threatened with invasion but at least homosexuality in the military isn't a problem

6. the nation is constantly threatened with invasion but at least homosexuality in the military isn't a problem

4. the nation has dismantled its entire WMD arsenal

5. the nation is devoted to world peas

#869 I'll Be in My Bunker

7. each infantry rifle comes pre-loaded with a single white carnation in the barrel

5. the nation's nuclear defence policy is to "turn the other cheek"

#982 Your Move, @@LEADER@@?

4. when it comes to WMDs @@NAME@@ has declared that the only winning move is not to play